On April 17th, 2018, I was in an altercation with an ex-boyfriend of mine. He punched me in my face and also threw an inanimate object at my head. As a result, I had a large hematoma (a collection of blood under the skin) and a concussion. The whole incident was traumatic and I often think it's my fault as to why it happened. My friends and family tell me that he's crazy and that I shouldn't think like that.

f kind of hard when you have reminders.

A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Post Concussive Syndrome or PCS for short. It's basically a disorder that mimics the symptoms of a concussion. It's a long-term effect that occurs for weeks, months, or even years.

Every day, I usually feel on the left side of my forehead. There's a little lump still under the area. It somewhat feels like a little pebble that just won't go away. It doesn't hurt anymore but it always takes me back to the day it all went left.

I often have headaches (more like migraines if you ask me). It feels like I got hit in the head all over again. They usually start between three and five in the afternoon. I got prescribed medication for it but it literally does nothing so I go to sleep.

My left eye also hurts and twitches all the time.

It's hard to drive at night sometimes because I get blurred vision in my left eye.

I can't do any physical activity at the moment and it really sucks because my passion was cheerleading. I'm not allowed to cheer, stunt, or tumble because all the motions rock my head a little too much.

Besides the headaches, my depression & anxiety have worsened. I no longer have the excitement in my life and I feel myself becoming lazier & lazier as time passes.

I try my best to make myself seem okay but it really isn't working.

I wish I could be my normal self again.

Sadly, I don't see that coming anytime soon.