Well, it's been real UNI.

And, since I don't really have a mixtape or album to drop of my experiences here to have an "outro" this article will have to do. Originally I was planning on doing an article to Hamilton's "One Last Time," but I'm going to draw from Jon Bellion's outro from his album, The Human Condition, because his album is ridiculously relatable. I can see so many parallels between the music and my life at times. So, I'm going to break it down and wed it with a reflection of senior year at the University of Northern Iowa.

This is my goodbye. This is my graduation.

I encourage you to start listening from 3:16 on for the sequence I'm pulling from.

Tears at a funeral, tears at a funeral, I might break
Angry at all the things, angry at all the things I can't change

In a way, graduation is like a funeral. Besides all the black robes and tears, it's an ending. It's the end of something that I've worked for - we've ALL worked for- for SO LONG. And then there's the friends that we're parting with. The tears of joy from making it, the tears of anguish because our friends won't be a dorm away.

And there's things that I know I'm probably angry with, things I couldn't change that rip me apart. Things that will forever be embedded in my college experience. And as much as I want them to change, they won't.

When you're lost in the universe, lost in the universe
Don't lose faith

This is where the future isn't as clear. I've reached graduation from college. COLLEGE. It's always been a set course: school, school, school. And suddenly? The great unknown (which is also a really good song by Jukebox the Ghost).

I am "lost in the universe."

But the big thing is to not lose faith. There is a path I am on. There is a path you are on. Everything thus far has led to this point. Why lose faith now?

My mother says, "Your whole life's in the hand of God" [...]
Tears at a funeral, tears at a funeral, I might break [...]

Growing up as a Catholic, my mom would always say that God has a plan for me. I'm still a practicing Catholic, and with my beliefs, I sometimes see that hand of God working in my life. But that's just my outlook on life. This can be a comforting thought too, because it makes me feel less alone in the journey ahead.

This year was also rough emotionally for me. Everyone thinks senior year of college is all fun and games. Well it's not. And there were a few times I thought I might break. There were a few times when I was at my weakest point, had to rely on friends and build those friendships in my weakest moments before being strong again. But being strong isn't something that stays- you don't just get to "level up" or "power up" to strength mode and never be weak again- it's a constant battle to be strong. And there were times when I thought I was strong, and even then I thought I might break.

Just like the 80s films
We'll hook up in my back seat and let my best friend drive
Nothing has changed, he is the same

Fall semester played out like a movie, just like a movie. And this is why it fits so well with this lyric. There was joy and things I never thought would happen to me, things that seemed too perfect, things that started to seem like they would never happen to me.

And there was so. much. joy. "Just like the 80s films."

It just didn't end as..."happily" as an 80s movie. I was given so much joy and heartbreak fall semester it was nothing I could've imagined coming- a tumultuous storm of classes, internship, involvement, and social life. I saw who was there for me and who had been but wasn't anymore.

Overwhelming
Nothing has changed, he is the same
Overwhelming
Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

Senior year got overwhelming. I expected nothing less from a year that would be pushing me out of college and into the next step where I didn't know where I would be going. I knew I wouldn't be coming back. But I didn't expect it to hit me the way it did, through the people it hit me from.

At first I wasn't ready for graduation. But the end of fall semester pushed me. I wanted out and for a while I felt trapped at a place I once loved. That thought of leaving, of essentially escape, of seeing new places and meeting new people became a driving force for me during/after Christmas break.

But what I really didn't expect was the slight depression I fought through in the winter months. Yeah, the year got overwhelming, yeah I reached a low I hadn't gotten to before as a generally upbeat/joyful person. I let my sadness fester for a while, it brought me down and I reached an emptiness I hadn't experienced before, fought battles I wasn't originally prepared for. But I fought through it. I found strength in little things. I mended, became stronger, began to acknowledge my brokenness, live with it, and didn't let it keep me from doing what I needed to do. And yeah, I still get sad about certain things. But a great coach once told me:

"When a season of sadness comes your way, don't be discouraged; it will not last forever."

Even in the lowest moments I had this senior year, I prayed. Though I may change, God is the same.

Lay me down in Brooklyn if I lose my life
Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Push me down the Hudson and turn on the radio
Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Long Island’s only smiling cause my soul is fine

I guess if I was a die hard Panther, I would change this to:

Lay me down in Cedar Falls if I lose my life

Push me down the Hill and turn on the radio

Panther Nation's only smiling cause my soul is fine.

There will always be a part of me that is forever a Panther. I will never forget. UNI has always been part of my life, even since I was a little kid. Campus has been kind- in my highs and in my lows. But sometimes it is time to move on.

Thank you to my family, my friends, the UNI faculty and staff, and the coaches I've gotten to work with. Each and every one of you have shaped my experience here at the University of Northern Iowa. I've grown so much over my time here and I'm proud to be a UNI alum.

I did everything for New York

Just as the fight song says: "Hail our Panthers we are ever loyal."

I did everything for UNI.

Lyrics (bolded) courtesy Google Play Music, Written by Daniel Law Heath, Jonathan Bellion, Mark Carl Stolinkski Williams, Raul Ignacio Cubina