“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ― Oscar Wilde
I identify as a lot of things. I’m a college student, a cat lover, a brother, a friend. I’m also transgender, meaning that my gender identity (male) doesn’t match my gender assigned at birth (female.) It took many years of self-reflection (and a lot of research on what it means to be trans) to come to the conclusion many people take for granted: yes, I am a boy.
We live in a world where sameness is an instinct. And why should we dare to be different? Everyone wants to belong, to be part of a group…I’m no different, in that respect. But a few years ago, I found myself at a crossroads. I could either go on living as a gender I knew I wasn’t and continue to feel trapped in my own skin. Or, I could take that leap I had been dreaming of for so long and begin my transition. Some people have called what I decided to do “bravery,” but I don’t really see it that way. When I think back on this “decision” I made to live as male, it feels like it was less of a choice, and more like my only option. I needed to start living my life for me. Brave? Maybe. All I know is it’s what I had to do.
If there was one thing that kept me in the closet, it was fear. Fear of being different. I vividly remember the anxiety around getting my long hair cut shortly before publicly announcing my transition. I was so afraid of the judgment I thought I would face from my peers at my high school.
In the end, I decided that truly living my life meant more to me than other people’s opinions. I was already different. If people were going to talk about me behind my back, it was already happening. What did I have to lose? So, I got my hair cut, started going by a new name, and came out as trans on Facebook. And it turns out, I was wrong about my peers--everyone at school welcomed my new expression with open arms. I feel that a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I don’t have to live in that fear anymore.
Through my gender transition, I have learned an invaluable lesson about individuality. I learned that my life is mine to live--and no one else’s. There is no other human being who is exactly like me, so there is no other life that will be lived perfectly parallel to mine. The same goes for every other person on this Earth. Your life is yours. We are all individuals, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to belong, we all owe it to ourselves to live our lives authentically.
