Like any other student my age, I try my best to have a balanced social life and experience all that college has to offer. This, of course, includes going to parties. I’ve noticed a pattern of certain rituals every time I go out, and it usually goes a little something like this.
A few days prior
Man, I’m stoked for Saturday night. I’m finally going to get out and go to a party. I’m going to see people whose names I don’t know, but by having them see me in public, it confirms that I am not a complete social outcast and that I don’t hide under a rock all day. I’m going to dance, I’m going to meet cute guys, and it’s going to be great.
The day of
I wonder who’s going to be there tonight. Oh, maybe that lacrosse guy from my math class is going to be there. I just have to come up with an excuse to talk to him. Or maybe even the guy with the backwards hat who sits behind me in psychology? The possibilities are endless! Is there anyone I’m trying to avoid? I’d better start making a list of reasons to leave conversations – that’s always helpful at these things.
A few hours before
Considering I’m going to interact with other humans tonight, I should probably put some effort into my appearance. Ugh, why is there never anything cute in my closet? I need the magic outfit. Something that accentuates all of my flattering features and hides all the not-so-good parts. So a paper bag? But seriously, I need the perfect “I totally just threw this on when in reality it took me hours to put this together because I want to look casual but also incredibly sexy” ensemble. I’ll also make some attempt to put on make-up, despite the fact that after 20 years as a female, I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
An hour before
Why am I going to this thing again? I’m going to see the same blur of vaguely familiar faces, have the same shouting conversations over deafening, terrible music, and someone is probably going to spill something sticky on my shoes. Well, I already forced myself into this skirt, so I guess it’s set in stone.
At the party
Okay, I’m here. I made it. If anything, I got out of the house. Is there anyone I know here? Stranger, stranger, unfamiliar face..how do I go to such a small school and not know any of these people?! Wait, that guy is in my journalism class. Time for some awkward small talk. Why is it so hot in here? This isn’t a house party, this is a sauna. Oh shoot, is that girl about to barf? Is anyone watching her? I hope she’s okay. Can I leave yet?
After the party
It’s over, it’s finally. I have a headache, my ears are ringing, and I narrowly missed being barfed on several times. I am never going out again.
A few days later
Well, it’s almost Saturday night. Guess I’ll try this one more time.
