I recently read an article written by psychologist, Peter Gray called "Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem in Colleges." According to the article, college students have become more "needy." Young adults my age have a harder time coping with day-to-day occurrences than ever before. Simple things have now become catastrophic in the eyes of my fellow generation. Failure has become the be-all and end-all. We have lost the ability to fail gracefully. Nowadays, kids are shielded from hurt feelings. As we have grown up, we have been led to believe that everything can be attained with very little effort and that everyone is entitled to a reward. This belief has an effect on how we handle what life throws at us.

This is something that I have experienced myself. A bad grade on the test, a rejection from a sports team or not getting a job can hit hard. Perhaps, there is more pressure to succeed in this world. We live in the digital age where everything is instantaneous and picture-perfect. We idolize celebrities and desire their wealth and status. The progressing world has ingrained in us the belief that everyone can "make it big" with little effort. We can post a photo and almost instantly ring in the cash.

Not everyone is given the same gifts. If we were all gifted the same, the world would be a boring place. That's not to say that one cannot improve on a given skill. However, for example, not everyone is a good singer. There will always be someone that is better than you. That is something you cannot change. Picture this: what if "American Idol" gave every single person who auditioned a recording contract just so each person wouldn't feel like a failure? That is the same as if all kids received awards for their work in soccer or, let's say, baseball. Not everyone possesses the same skills, and not everyone will reap the same rewards as another person. It's something that we need to learn to cope with in life. It's the reality of life.

From the ages of 7 to 9 years old, I was on my local swim team. It was an amazing experience. It taught me teamwork and kept me strong and busy during the summer months. I remember what it felt like to win a race. Upon getting first place, a black ribbon would be presented to me. Second and third place would be awarded in a similar manner. Now, I didn't always receive a black ribbon. In fact, there were times I didn't receive a ribbon at all. In my mind, I knew that I didn't do my best and that I needed to go faster next time. My little legs knew to kick harder. Because the goal was to get that ribbon, I would do anything to get that ribbon in my hands. What if, however, every kid in my heat had received a ribbon, regardless of how well they performed? There would have been no incentive to even try. I could have taken my own sweet time, and it would have made no difference. That shiny ribbon would have been waiting for me at the other end no matter what.

Participation trophies seem to give off the idea that failure is detrimental. They give kids a sense of entitlement, that everyone is entitled to a reward no matter how hard they have worked. Those who don't put in the effort still achieve the same status as those who work hard for what they're given. Young kids don't learn that failure is just a part of life. Failure becomes bigger in the future.Therefore, we grow up more at risk for depression and anxiety. Failure has a way of depleting a person's worth. But failure is a part of life. Working hard is something we need to learn to become successful adults.

We can't stop the world from hurting our feelings. Truth is, life is going to hurt. You're going to get what you put in. This is something we need to be aware of even as young children. Then, we can grow to be resilient adults. Perhaps, then, we can truly cope with everyday obstacles and fail gracefully.