On average, there are 129 suicides per day. Suicide has remained the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. for years. Death by suicide is particularly painful because of the internal anguish that is often the precursor to someone taking their own life. When someone completes a suicide, we often hear the "if only." If only someone had said something, done something, then perhaps that person would still be alive. The goal in suicide prevention is to eliminate these "what ifs" and create plans of action for victims of suicidal thoughts and their loved ones. Suicide prevention also educates anyone unfamiliar with suicidal behavior so that they might be prepared to acknowledge signs and symptoms.
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month which is crucial to a destigmatizing discussion around mental healthcare and suicide. Here are just a few ways that you can contribute to the cause in a way that makes a difference. Thank you in advance for your help in making suicide prevention education accessible and free of shame.
1. Know the warning signs
It may seem difficult to pick out someone who is suicidal from someone who is not because the conflict is mostly internal. However, it is easier when you know what to look for. Some red flags might include an obsession with death, withdrawal, self-hatred/self-sabotaging behavior, a loss of hope and getting affairs in order.
2. Start a conversation
This part might feel uncomfortable, especially if you aren't particularly close with the person. But a check-in or short conversation can change the trajectory of a suicidal person's life. Simply voice your concern, be clear that you are coming from a non-judgemental stance and offer to listen or provide support. A text message, phone call, or cup of coffee is a great place to start.
3. Listen, listen, LISTEN!
Because suicidal people often become reclusive or silent about their pain, providing opportunities for those struggling to talk about their experience is crucial to their recovery in any capacity. Withhold judgment, listen objectively and proceed accordingly. Listening is an important first step because, without it, you may be more inclined to act in a way that makes the situation worse, not better. Be observant and present with the other person.
4. Encourage the person struggling
While comfort and encouragement can mean the world to someone living with suicidal thoughts, there is a catch to this one. ALWAYS respect the boundaries of the person you are concerned about. Never offer physical touch or excessive advice where it is not wanted. It is always okay to first ask the person about their individual needs/wants for comfort.
5. Contact a helpline if you or someone you know is planning on hurting themselves
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK
LGBTQ+ Hotline (the Trevor Lifeline): 1-866-488-7386
Children's Hotline: 1-800-USA-KIDS
Teen Helpline: 310-855-HOPE or 800-TLC-TEEN
Veteran Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255
6. Know what to avoid when discussing suicide
Knowing the respectful way to talk about suicide isn't about being "politically correct" or "inoffensive." It's about making sure the person struggling is not plunged further into their pain through triggering topics, mockery/ridicule or the criminalization of those who try to commit suicide.
Try to avoid lecturing the other person. An attempt to explain away their pain will only shut them down.
Do not make promises of secrecy, as you may need to reach out to someone else more capable of handling the situation.
Take what they say seriously. Do not minimize their pain. Chances are, they have already done this for themselves.
7. If you have suicidal tendencies, make an emergency plan
Include people you can call, places you can go, and coping strategies that have worked for you in the past.
8. Be a vocal advocate
Being an advocate for suicide prevention in your city, state and various communities doesn't mean you have to stand in front of a crowd and give a PowerPoint (although that's one way to do it!) Writing letters to public officials and discussing ways to better support the suicidal population of your area is a great place to start. Observe the resources available and decide for yourself whether or not the systems in place are sufficient. If they aren't, maybe it's time to say something to someone you think has the power to initiate change. If someone around you is mocking suicide or suicidal people, SPEAK UP. Remind them that there are people, perhaps in the vicinity, that are holding on to life by a thread and cannot afford to be made fun of (even in secret.)
9. Continue to include your suicidal loved one
Suicidal people can be party poopers, OR they can be the life of the party. Social responses during times of mental crisis are different for everyone. Either way, continue to invite a suicidal person in your life to events and social gatherings. They may not show up, but continuing to extend your hand in their time of need builds trust and a support system.
10. Understand that no one is safe from suicide
Anyone can be affected by hardship in this life. It is inevitable. Stress, trauma and other outside factors that everyone experiences can often lead to depression, and eventually, suicidal ideation. If we only vow to support those struggling that look, believe, think and act the same way we do, then we fail to do our job as members of the human race. Extend a hand to ANYONE you believe needs a light in order to see value, joy, and all the other beautiful things that make this life worth it.
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