My Parents Support Me Through College Emotionally, Not Financially

My Parents Support Me Through College Emotionally, Not Financially

My parents, like every other set of parents in the world, wanted for me to go to college. So I did.

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My parents, like every other set of parents in the world, wanted for me to go to college. They had big dreams for me.

There was just one thing stopping them: money.

Sure, we're an upper-middle-class family, so they should have some money to give me for college, right?

Well, they don't.

When I graduated high school, I received a scholarship that allowed me to complete the first two years of my college education for free, so long as I went to a community college.

Tuition is a big financial burden, so who could pass up free money?

When I was about halfway through community college, I decided to change my major in order to transfer to a four-year university. It all seemed fine and dandy until it came time to figure out how to pay for it.

Of course, I took out student loans, but my parents have a pretty high income, so I didn't get enough money to cover the remaining balance of my tuition. They were having money troubles of their own at the time and I was on my own.

I soon realized that they, like every other stereotypical parent, would not be able to support me financially through college. And that's fine.

I don't drive due to medical reasons, but I often stay at school anyway up to 12 hours a day because I have a job there. It keeps me busy. On the weekends, I have a retail job that pays decent money, but it pays enough to give my school the tuition money they need.

My mom has said numerous times that she wishes that she could help pay for my college, she recognized that it's the parent's responsibility, not the students. I can't tell you how many times she's nearly cried while we talk about it.

My dad tells me all the time how proud he is of me that I'm getting my Bachelor's degree, which is something that neither of my parents has. He tells his co-workers, friends and family every time I do something worth sharing and he's always the first one to brag.

For what it's worth, my parents do help me out sometimes. They'll give me money to cover half of my books or they'll give me money to eat on if my hours were cut and I didn't have enough left over after paying my tuition.

I'm not totally on my own, I'm just in a different situation. But it works. I get by.

I know people whose parents pay their entire tuition, who have taken loans out for them and people who are in the same boat that I'm in. We don't value our education any less than one another. We're all there for the same reason: to learn and get experience in our field.

Money may be one thing that my parents may not be able to provide me while I navigate my way through college, but they have given me all the love and support that they can offer.





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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Blocking Toxic Family Members Can Be Just What You Needed

It isn't an easy choice but it can be the most rewarding.

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I haven't written for the Odyssey in quite some time due to this large issue in my life that I feel some people may also need to hear. Watching your parents go through a divorce can be difficult in itself, but what about having to remove one of your parents from your life at the same time? It's something I don't think many people could imagine doing. However, sometimes you are forced into the position between choosing what is best for your mental health or what is expected of you. For me, I realized that I needed to put myself first.

I realized that I am my own person. How I present myself and how I act and what I choose to believe in is how the world perceives me. I was faced with a parent who did not let me be who I am. The way I thought had to be in line with theirs. What I openly spoke about had to be in line with that parent's thoughts. This also, in turn, meant I had to revolve how I was perceived to the world around that parent's family. I had to abide by these societal norms and do what someone else expected of me. I realized that was ludicrous.

This parent was also abusive. They were toxic and manipulative and I could not stand idly by and just take that from them while also trying to become an independent young adult. I was forced to sit and watch one of my parents transform into someone I didn't recognize anymore. I had to watch them ignore any kind of reality checks and continue to feign innocence. I watched one of my parents mentally manipulate people I once called family into believing lies. I kept my head down and shut my mouth and kept taking the abuse. Now I'm at a point where I can confidently say that I am no longer afraid.

I was forced to cut ties with a parent that raised me, cared for me, attended school functions, fixed toys, bought me my first phone. I was forced to chuck out priceless memories for my own sanity. I could not sit idly by and allow myself to endure one more second of lies or abuse. I had to stand up for myself for once in my life and I blocked most of my family. I blocked cousins, aunts, uncles, and godparents. I changed my phone number that I had since 6th grade. I gave no warning and disappeared from my family's lives. Do I have regrets? No. I would do it again if I had to because I am so much stronger than sitting there and taking it.

I will have one less parent at my college graduation, which I am fighting so hard to achieve. I will have one less parent at my wedding. My future children will have one less grandparent. I mope in these thoughts but then I have to remember the other side of things. I will not have an unsupportive parent at my graduation and instead will have those that were there every step of the way. I will lack someone who was toxic at my wedding. My future children will never have to face the same abusive, toxic situations that my parent put me through. It was a difficult decision to make but one that I know in my heart is worthwhile.

Cutting a family member out of your life is difficult enough but cutting a parent is unimaginable. However, no one deserves to go through abusive situations. It shouldn't matter who the person is; if someone is treating you less than you deserve to be treated, they have no use being in your life. You should always be your first priority. You should never have to endure something for the sake of others. I am here to tell you that you are more than that and that cutting out a family member could actually be the best thing for you, even if it's incredibly difficult. I did it and I'm still here. It made me realize who my real family was, and there will never be enough thank you's in the world to show my mother just how much I appreciate her.

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