To The Parent I'm Not Close To, I Feel Bad That You're Missing Out On Me

To The Parent I'm Not Close To, I Feel Bad That You're Missing Out On Me

Sometimes I can't decide which one of us is missing out more.

3974
views

Most of the time it doesn't bother me that we've gone this long barely knowing anything about each other, but then I see other friends with their parents, and I long for a relationship I've never had.

I used to be pretty bitter towards you. The fighting, the lack of communication, the distance between us - it seemed so infuriating that I (we) had to continuously deal with it, but now I'm just exhausted. It's a cycle of bad habits formed into a routine I don't think we'll ever be capable of changing.

I feel bad that you're missing out on me. When I was younger, I tried to do well in school, so you would say that you were proud of me, but I realized I should be doing it for myself. So I am. When I texted you to tell you about how I made the dean's list in college, you didn't respond. I kept the email for myself.

When I moved into my dorm my first year of college, you weren't in town. You texted me and asked when I was going to visit, and I told you I had moved. You came to visit...once. I think you even stayed for an hour or two.

If you ever wanted to know me, I guess I would tell you these things about myself:

*I write. I write poetry, short stories, and articles for EMU Odyssey. I love writing more than anything else.

*My favorite color is orange.

*I have a kick-ass taste in music. I love bluegrass and classic rock. My favorite bands are The Avett Brothers, Parsonsfield, Wild Rivers, Greta Van Fleet, and Fleetwood Mac.

*I'm tough, and I'm smart, and most importantly - I'm damn proud of myself. I'm outgoing, and I say what I want when I want. I stick up for others and myself. I do fantastic in school. I work a minimum of two jobs while going to school full-time, and I'll always strive to be the best version of myself possible.

*I want a family that will stick around.

A relationship to you might include visiting a few times a year, and gifts during Christmas, and maybe that's the only relationship you're capable of, but I needed more than that. I needed you to be excited for me. I needed you to be proud of me. I just needed you to be there.

It hurts when I see you, and you talk about your other kids and their life accomplishments and their current struggles while I try to fill you in on my life. Why aren't you capable of listening to me? Why do the other kids come first? Do you talk about me like you talk about them? Sometimes I think I'll never know how you actually feel about me. I guess it doesn't matter.

Sometimes I feel as if I should do more to pursue an actual relationship with you, but do you know how exhausting and sad it is for a nineteen-year-old to piggyback an entire life with a parent their whole life? I didn't bring you into this world. I didn't choose you as my parent - but you did choose to have me. I can't carry a relationship that's never existed, and I'm too tired of being disappointed to try anymore.

I like to think one day work and your new family won't come first. I like to think one day you'll ask about my life with genuine interest. I like to think one day we will find a bond that was somehow hiding between cracks of arguments and two-sided disappointment, but until then I want you to know I'm doing just fine, and if I were you, I'd be so damn proud.

Popular Right Now

It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
855744
views

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Thank-You Your Parents Deserve For The Sacrifices They've Made

Sadly, this is one they've never heard.

bmscott
bmscott
199
views

We're getting into that stage of our lives. The one where you are away from home or starting to distance yourself, but the relationship between you and your parents is strengthening. College has taught me the value of my parents. Their value is more than the money their bank account and how often they were able to make it to high school soccer games. It's so much deeper than that.

If you have EVER fought with your parents, you've heard the phrase "You'll understand someday when you're a parent." What an excuse, right? No, not really. Being a parent is hard; it's something that I couldn't even imagine doing now or in the next five years.

Since college, I've grown so much closer to both my parents and honestly it's one of the best things that has happened to me. In high school, I was the definition of a hormonal teenager. Fighting with my dad every day and ignoring my mom when the walk got hard. Now, I call them to tell them what kind of smoothie I got for lunch. College taught me how to make not just more of a father/mother-son relationship, but a friendship with my parents. That's not what I'm here to thank them for, though.

I'm thankful for the sacrifices. There's so many that I don't know about, but I know they exist. Working countless hours to give my brother and me what we want or even sacrificing their own happiness for me is something that I can't comprehend yet. I know that being a parent is hard and that sacrifices are in call but being a parent is a full-time job. I've come to realize that a lot of my parent's lives got put on the backburner because they wanted to give me the best life possible, but I have to recognize the sacrifices.

I have been so blessed to have an amazing life. I've been provided for, and my parents have busted their butts to make sure I had everything possible to make me happy. Not just material things; they gave me all of the opportunities possible to succeed in life. They've skipped events with their friends to spend time with me while I'm home from college, even if it's us sitting in the living room on our phones all night.

Mom and Dad, I appreciate you more than you know. The words that I've written are just a quarter of the love and appreciation I have for you — words cannot describe how I feel. Thank you for all of the sacrifices you've made for me. I know I am where I'm at right now because of the hard work you've put into me, and I hope that I can make you proud.

bmscott
bmscott

Related Content

Facebook Comments