When I went off to school, I knew a lot of financial responsibility would fall on me because I decided to attend school out of state. After having long talks with my parents, we discussed what I would be paying and what they could help me with. Originally, I was supposed to be paying for my car, gas, half of my rent and groceries.
Long story short, my parents continuously backed out of what we agreed upon, leaving me now with all of my living expenses minus my car insurance. I work full time on top of school just to keep up. My friends and boyfriend notice how different of a person I am when I am at school because of the amount of stress I am constantly under to maintain good grades while trying to support myself. My parents are not poor and are considered upper middle class, yet they choose to continuously watch me struggle.
I understand that once you turn 18, your parents legally do not have to give you a dime. I also understand that having to support yourself is part of life and growing up. But having to work full time and attend school full time just to pay the expenses that my parents continue to throw at me has taken a toll of my mental health. Regardless of how much I help with bills, work my butt off or get amazing grades for being a full time student and worker, I am still constantly reminded by them that they help me financially (in the most minuscule ways) and continuously call me spoiled, ungrateful and lazy.
It's always, "You're an ungrateful, disrespectful brat. We help you and you are lazy as hell." It's never, "Wow, thank you so much for all of the hard work you do. Working 30+ hours a week on top of doing so well in school is stressful. How can we help just until you get your degree?" I've had money stolen out of my joint bank account that I am not allowed to take their names off of. I've been hit with an extra $300 to pay simply because they want to spend their money on something other than to help me.
I know parents out there who would spend their last dime to help their child get their degree and only focus on school, and unfortunately, I am not lucky enough to have those kind of parents. Legally, no, you don't have to help your kid through college. Ethically? You're a piece of shit if you can, you see them struggling, you watch them be diagnosed with mental illnesses due to the stress they are under and you still choose to indulge on yourself instead.
I'm not a drug addict. I don't spend my weekends at the bar, blowing hundreds of dollars. I've never been in trouble with the law or even did so much as serve a detention in high school. I work my ass off only to be called lazy. I pay almost all of my expenses only to be called spoiled. Don't be the parent that treats their child like nothing and holds things over their head because being the child of parents like that? It makes you not want to be their child at all.
