Holidays, in general, have never been big events in my family for many reasons. However, in recent years, I blame this on the fact that we are only six people, so quiet evenings at home with a small gift exchange is plenty. This year, though, our modest six-person bunch will drop to a measly five because I have chosen to spend the holidays on the other side of the country.
I asked my dad if having one of his kids spend Christmas with a different family makes him feel old. He said, “I think I feel old because I am old.”
For the longest time you are the one who is growing and changing, but suddenly when you are not with them all of the time, you start to notice how your parents change, too.
Of course, over the last year and a half that I have spent a majority of my time at school, I have noticed how my dad's hair seems a little greyer, a little thinner, and how there seem to be a bit more wrinkles around his eyes. It is weird when it hits you that your parents are actually getting kind of old. However, they are not only getting older, they are also changing as people too.
It almost feels backward. You’re now off making your own decisions, living more independently and not needing them as much or as often. In a way, as you begin to find yourself, your parents have the opportunity to find themselves again,
too. I have realized that they should not be defined as just “my parents” because I am not just “their daughter.” We all have our own pursuits and hobbies, and having more independence on both ends has allowed me to see them more clearly.
It is said that the happiness of adults increases when they become empty-nesters. When I first heard this I thought it was horrible, but why shouldn’t parents be happy when their kids leave? They give us 18+ years, and I imagine is it rewarding for them to see their kids start to flourish on their own while also having more time, money and opportunity to pursue what they want. I know that going away to college has been one of the best choices I have ever made, and I hope that my parents have enjoyed not having to worry about me as much, too.
I cannot say that I like knowing that my parents are getting older. It’s weird and a little scary. I do like knowing, however, that they are enjoying themselves. They may ache a little more and their hair may be more grey, but they seem happy, and that is what is important.
Obviously, having a little more independence on my end and being able to decide to travel over Christmas doesn’t hurt either.
