Dear Parent,

First of all, I should preface this article by telling you that I am neither a parent or a teacher. However, I come from an entire family of teachers so believe me when I say I've heard all the horror stories.

I get it. You love your child. You would die for them. They're your whole world. So it's understandable that you want to protect them from any potential harm they may encounter in the world. But you should know that you are currently doing your child a great disservice.

If I had a dollar for every time someone screamed at my mom (or any other teacher) for circumstances entirely out of their control, well, let's just say I wouldn't be driving my grandpa's old Buick. (Actually, that's so not true, I love that car!). But I digress...

I'm going to make a statement, and you aren't going to like it. You are wrong. Brazen, I know. We live in an age of instant gratification. An age where, kids are able to escape the consequences associated with their actions thanks to some very...overprotective parents. In this day and age, when a child has a conflict with anyone, parents are quick to jump to their defense and make things go away. But what is that really teaching your child?

Now don't misunderstand. I've had a few teachers in my educational experience that definitely should have chosen another profession. And when necessary, my mom stepped in to help me when it became impossible for a child to repair the situation. That's fine! But what I'm talking about here is the instinct of parents nowadays to jump to their child's defense every time a teacher tells them no. Okay, I'm sorry but that is just bad parenting.

As I said, I come from a family of teachers, so I know firsthand that they are so much more than just educators. They are counselors, nurses, mediators, (sometimes they feel like wardens...) and a whole host of other jobs, all of which are performed daily. Now your child spends what, eight hours a day with their teacher? So yes, there are bound to be conflicts. But it is your job as a parent to teach your child how to handle these conflicts. If you jump in at every bump in the road, you are effectively teaching your child that they are always right. (Spoiler alert: they aren't).

I understand how hard it can be to get that call from your child's teacher telling you that your child isn't behaving in class. You think to yourself "Oh, that can't possibly be my child! They always behave at home!" But guess what? It is your child, because it's every child. Kids are still learning the ropes of appropriate behavior, so yes, they are going to have slip-ups along the way. But listen closely, It is NOT their teacher's fault!

Do you enjoy when your toddler throws a tantrum in the grocery store? No? Ok, well let me tell you something; teacher's don't appreciate it when you throw a tantrum over the fact that they had to put your angel in time-out. Seriously, there are parents that are worse-behaved than the kindergarteners where my mom teaches. It's absurd.

So now you're thinking "This is all great, but how do I help my child when they butt heads with the teacher. The answer? By teaching them some simple social graces.

1. Teach your child how to apologize. Sincerely.

2. Teach your child to have respect for their teachers. They deserve it.

3. Teach your child that you will not always come to their rescue when they're having a conflict with the teacher. Children need to learn conflict-resolution skills.

4. Follow through on consequences when your child acts up in class.

5. Set a good example. When you get a note in your child's backpack saying they were being defiant, don't call the school spewing obscenities and the classic "How dare you accuse my child of wrongdoing! He is perfect!" Just... don't.

6. And most importantly, actually talk to your child's teacher when they are having difficulties. They want your child to succeed as much as you do, and probably have some creative solutions on how to help your child.

So the next time you feel incensed at the terrible way your child's teacher is treating them, look at the situation from another perspective. If this wasn't your child, and you saw a kid exhibiting this behavior, what would you think? Better yet, if you were the teacher and had 26 kids in your classroom, 20 of them with IEP's, how would you react when you have a child who is constantly acting out?

I wrote this article because I am sick and tired of entitled parents raising entitled children. I am tired of my mom receiving nasty, hate-filled emails and phone calls about what a terrible person she is and how she's unforgivably mistreating their child. Stop taking your child's side. Because guess what? When your child goes to college and has a conflict with a professor, or has a conflict with a future employer/coworker, you darn well can't make a phone call demanding better treatment for your baby.

Teachers, I have all the respect in the world for you. You work so hard and don't get half the recognition you deserve. But you don't do it for the recognition, you do it for the kids!

Parents, thank your child's teacher. No actually, get on the computer and send an email right now!

Sincerely,

Teacher's daughter who is fed up with your entitled self.