It's an indescribable feeling when something seemingly insignificant from your childhood resurfaces as a life lesson that you find yourself finally applying to the real world. All those little comments and side notes your parents and siblings pointed out to you throughout time ultimately contributed to how you see and interact with the world today.
Yes, we have our phones with us 24/7, so it is understandable that you expect us to answer in a timely manner. However, some other factors exist and contribute to our lack of communication, and it's not always to be taken personally.
People often refer to college as their "new home." It's easy to forget that this home consists of thousands of family members– whether strangers, peers, or best friends. Alone time is a foreign concept when you live, eat, study, and breathe with people.
Appreciate the moments when your student uses the minimal free time they find to reach out to you, even if it's a quick phone call on their walk to class. College It can make all the difference for both you and them. And remember that the college family does not mean a replacement family.
Calling home can actually have reverse effects. Hearing about life at home and what they are missing. may actually create a sense of homesickness. Meet your student halfway in elaborating on updates. That being said, students often reach out to home when they have an accomplishment or piece of good news they want to share (guilt-free bragging).
You are also given permission to do this, whether referring to your own experiences or those of relatives/friends, as It boosts the morale of you both. Your student can't express their pride or happiness for others if they aren't given the opportunity to.
Then there exists the communication that suggests your student is only reaching out to ask yours for something materialistic or logistical. If that is the case, use those practical conversations to segway into asking about their well-being or bringing up a lighter, more personable topic to chat about.
While we call for help, we also cry for help. You might be your student's go-to on their bad days. You also might not. Accept and respect the excuse of being socially and academically "busy." However, it may be that your student is avoiding communication because they are avoiding confronting problems or struggles at school. It is easy to be offended or annoyed when they don't answer supportive check-in texts or voicemails, but please: keep them coming.
Your student will overcome the phase of chaos, and when they're ready, they will reach out. As a student, we want to share our highs with our family so as to make you proud and know that we are successfully achieving the education and experience you are providing and supporting us through.
Sometimes lack of communication is personal, however. College can be a happier place than life at home. Being immersed by relatable people, schedules, and experiences may just be the perfect distraction. If you can recognize and understand this reasoning, it is easier to adjust your mentality to being content that your student is content.
It's an indescribable feeling when something seemingly insignificant from your childhood resurfaces as a life lesson that you find yourself finally applying to the real world. All those little comments and side notes parents and siblings pointed out to you over time ultimately contributed to how one see and interact with the world today.
Just because you're letting your child fly with the wings you've given them, doesn't mean they've left the nest forever.
