I hear a lot of parents when they have a child say that as long as the baby is healthy nothing else matters. That’s all well and good, and I admire your unconditional love for your child, but I believe once you start even thinking about conceiving a child you have to be ready for anything.

That’s right parents, you must be ready for anything. It’s what you have signed up for. You are giving life to an individual. That individual will one day grow up and be their own person with their own thoughts, feelings, goals, aspirations, and ideas. It is absolutely your job to love and support your child from day one. Your children need your love and support. In everything we do. When you had us, you signed up for the good and the bad. Sometimes I don’t think people who are having kids realize that. That anything can happen. Kids are unpredictable.

As long as the baby is healthy nothing else matters? What if it isn’t? There’s always that possibility. So many possibilities. You can have a child and they can be diagnosed with anything. They could have autism or cancer or be perfectly healthy. They can grow up and come out to you as being gay, bi, transgender, anything. They’re going to start forming opinions and they might be different than yours. They will have dreams that are different from yours. However, no matter what, it is your role as our parents to love us. No matter what. There are no if, and's, or buts. It matters not if you think being gay is wrong or if your child doesn’t see the world as you do or whether it’s hard dealing with a diagnosis. That is your child. That child is yours to love and support unconditionally. Yet sometimes I feel like parents believe their opinions are more important than their child’s well-being. That’s not the case.

I see it a lot with kids who are a part of the LGBT community. A child comes out and their parents are either going to be okay with it or not be. Or sometimes they’re in that state of limbo where they tolerate it but they aren’t exactly okay with it. It’s hard enough coming out; it’s even harder knowing your very own parents might not accept it. If you have a child who comes out to you in any way, they absolutely need your support. I don’t care how you feel about the matter, that’s not up for discussion. It’s so important that you support who your child is. Not just tolerate, but accept and support. A parent’s support can literally save their child’s life when it comes to this matter. When a parent supports their queer child that child is less likely to suffer from mental illness and less likely to commit suicide. Not only that, but your opinion should never be more important to you than your own child’s feelings and well-being. Your beliefs are secondary. When you became a parent this is something you signed up for, whether you realized it or not.

Do not invalidate your child’s feeling because you think your opinion is the be all end all. Especially when you child is, well ya know, no longer a child. As we get older we form our own opinions, and thoughts. They could very well be different than yours. We might be young, but that doesn’t mean we’re stupid and that we don’t know what we’re talking about. We have our own feelings and beliefs, and when you can’t stand that fact and think we shouldn’t it messes with us. We would never invalidate you or your opinions because you would call us out and say we were being disrespectful. Yet, you can somehow magically do the same to us and we have to deal with it? I don’t think so. Respect is earned, and just because you’re my parent has nothing to do with it. I will respect you when I deem it acceptable, so you should absolutely do the same for us.

Our feelings, our beliefs, our dreams, our identities, our personalities are our own, and they are valid. And if you can’t love and support your child regardless of what they identify as or what they believe in or what have you then maybe you should’ve thought of that before you had us. You’re our parents, we love you regardless of everything, we just genuinely want it in return. Always and unconditionally. Because you’re our parents. You made us out of love and said that as long as we’re healthy or as long as we’re happy that’s all that matters. With your love and support, we will be happy, and that’s all that matters. Regardless of if your child is queer or if they’re suffering from an illness or diagnosed with something or if they’re politically different from you, love them. Hold them close. We need it. We need your love and support. No opinion, no belief, no differences should come between the love of parent and child. That’s just how it should be.