"You are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card."
The irony of emotional destruction towards yourself.
"I could kid myself into thinking that I'm fine."
Cautiously optimistic, most people, when they're sad or have depression, tend to use a phony attitude or fake their happiness to try to fake themselves out. Always is a melancholy love song.
"I'm a fly that's trapped/ In a web/ But I'm thinking that/ My spider's dead."
Again, you're in a constant state of self-ignorance. These lines mean that you're stuck in a situation where your main predator isn't even interested in you. You are holding yourself down. I am guilty of this as I think most people are.
"I've lost control and I don't want it back/ I'm going numb, I've been hijacked."
Personally, when I get into my depressive episodes, I tend to just settle that that is how I'm going to feel moving forward. I tend to disassociate myself from the reality of the world and it makes me feel numb and almost like I'm not even alive. Nicotine is the song that will get the point of how the pain feels across.
"Yeah, you're worse than nicotine, nicotine."
This is a diss on the person it's being said to and yourself. The narrator has become dependent on them and too reliant on another person just like a nicotine addiction while simultaneously dissing the fact of how awful there are. Nicotine is said to be the main cause of lung cancer, around 80-90 percent. Nicotine is a song for when you've become too reliant on a toxic person who will eventually mess up your future.
3. "Northern Downpour"
"I know the world's a broken bone/ But melt your headaches, call it home."
These lines, to me, are the most important of the entire song. As the whole song is about wanting to grieve longer. The lines mean that you are aware of the evil in the world or in your own specific life, but you just have to get used to it. Things suck but and it's hard to fix everything that doesn't cater to you so you just have to get used to the awful feeling sometimes, hence "melt your headaches, call it home."
4. "Collar Full"
Arguably the greatest song Panic has ever written. This is my personal favorite song in general as it holds special meaning to me in multiple ways. I get a nostalgic feeling when I listen to it and even almost a sense that I'm missing something in myself. This song makes me mourn the feeling of loneliness.
"If you're gonna be the death of me, that's how I want to go."
This line makes me over-romanticize every relationship I've ever had. I almost crave to have my life partner at this very moment when I listen to that line. The chorus, "Oh, show me your love, your love/ Give me more but it's not enough," makes me feel desperate to have the never-ending love my mind feels it's entitled to. Collar Full is a happy-sad song, perfect to listen to when you're driving at night but will definitely cause you to get emotional.
"Everything I do is bittersweet."
Bittersweet is good and bad. When I listen to this song it makes me realize that people make mistakes all the time. People can't be perfect so I shouldn't feel like I have to be a perfect person, and I don't owe it anyone to be perfect for them. This song is a reminder that you don't have to cater to everyone's needs.
"All that hate is going to burn you up."
Hatred is an intense emotion to feel. It will eat at you and can sometimes even cause negative physical/mental effects on you. So this line is a reminder that the more you hate the hotter (worse) you will feel.
6. "Kaleidoscope Eyes"
"I'm a disappearing act done poorly/ But if I ever get it right, you will miss me sorely."
These two lines essentially just mean that narrator is doing a poor excuse for an attempt to leave the person they are with. This makes me relate because the relationship sounds like an abusive/toxic relationship. I've been in a situation where I needed to just cut off ties to a person because they were affecting me negatively but I just couldn't get the confidence or personal power to do it. I feel bad because I knew if I left they would suffer from the loss of me. It's an uphill journey to leave someone that you enjoy being with when they treat you poorly.
"In the sickness of you, I am a white blood cell/ Fighting like hell for you."
White blood cells fight off infections or illness. These lines make me feel like I'm trying to help someone that I just can't. Codependent relationships that aren't healthy for anyone and sometimes you are blind to the fact that it's what you're doing. Kaleidoscope Eyes is a definition of codependency but will poetically remind you that it is not worth it.
Not a good song to listen to on your birthday.
Chorus: "Oh, memories/ Where'd you go?/ You were all I've ever know/ How I miss yesterday/ And how I let it fade away/ Where'd you go?"
This is one of the most depressing choruses that Panic has ever written, but still poetic. It's a recollection of looking at the past and how life was better in the past. I tend to do this especially as a direct cause of my depression. I miss being a child and helplessly naive. I miss the people that have left in my life who I won't see again in this lifetime.
"Should have known right from the start/ You can't predict the end."
These two lines are true. You can't predict the end of moments in your life, especially relationships you have with people. You don't know when the end will be or what it is like. You just can't live like that. This song is a blunt reminder you can't live your life in fear of bad endings.
8. "Far Too Young To Die"
"Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die."
This lyric basically describes the feeling of invincibility you feel in your youth. Invincibility makes me act irrationally sometimes like my actions don't have consequences. I don't mean breaking the law but something as simple as giving a kiss can affect someone beyond your means. You can love a person while hurting another.
"Fixation or psychosis?/ Devoted to neurosis now."
These lines mean that the narrator is unaware of the feelings he has are real or just a product of mental illness. This is something I've struggle possibly for my entire life. I don't know if I like someone genuinely or just enjoy receiving attention. Far Too Young To Die is a ballad for those out there that are struggling with being self-aware.
9. "The End Of All Things"
"Whether near or far/ I am always yours."
These opening lines break my emotions everytime I listen to this song. It's a vow to be devoted to someone continuously. This may bring you back and think about a love you're always going to have with someone or even a memory.
"In these coming years/ Many things will change/ But the way I feel/ Will remain the same."
Same with this verse, this will bring you back and make you think of a love you have with someone or memory. It makes me wish I could open my mind to someone very special to me even if we are no longer close anymore. This song is a vow to be devoted solely to one person, which in a way is beautiful and depressing. You lust for love pure and wholesome like that.
10. "Trade Mistakes"
The song that describes my mental issues and emotions perfectly. I love the vulnerability of this song.
"I feel marooned in this body/ Deserted, my organs can go on without me/ You can't fly these wings/ You can't sleep in this box with me."
This song is my life line in knowing that I'm not alone in the way I feel. I do feel marooned in my own self, sometimes I disassociate to the point I don't feel alive or sometimes want to be alive. But I also like the inclusion of "you can't fly these wings" because it's being frank that you don't know exact feeling I feel right now. I feel guilty for disliking myself therefore I isolate myself sometimes and sometimes I feel like I'm trapping other people in my mental state. Trade Mistakes is a song that lets you know you are not alone in suffering from dark thoughts sometimes.