I feel like I'm getting redundant in my blogs on here. I hate talking about myself, to be honest. Maybe I don't like feeling exposed or too vulnerable. I don't know what it is. I'm always looking for a new way to explain the same thing everyone else is already writing about. I have to sound trendy or relatable for the sake of being relevant.

Which is so silly.

So I'm just going to talk about something that I know and I think that's all we ever really do. But I want to dive into pain. Not my pain or experiences. But pain is such a broad yet distinct concept. I have been on a little self-healing journey. At times falling off the course or letting distractions divert me from my goal. But my intended goal isn't to live a life pain-free or problem-ridden.

In fact, I don't expect a life anymore without unforeseen issues. I do want to talk about unchecked pain.

I think one of the deadliest things on this Earth is probably unchecked pain. It's toxic because all it does is produce cycles that are never-ending. It doesn't generate anything healthy or fruitful. Areas in my life I see the most destruction have stemmed from the root of unchecked trauma and pain. Trauma is tricky because while your body is fighting to protect itself, your mind already registered it and now it's a memory.

Pain in the smallest of forms has to be checked. What you don't deal with now, you will be forced to handle later. I think we don't understand that when we are cut in one area of our life, it will always bleed into others. If we are foolish enough to think our demeanor and bravado will heal us instead of communication and time, we are sadly mistaken.

Every time we dismiss hurt, all we do is leave the next generation to handle what we didn't deal with. Allowing someone to pick up the pieces of a mess they didn't create. Putting that responsibility on others is reckless and unfair. Trauma and pain in this life are inevitable, but the cycle doesn't have to be.

I think to myself, what would life have been if R. Kelly had dealt about his own abuse? If Michael Jackson had dealt with his lack of childhood? Or if anyone's trauma would have been handled differently?

I don't know all the answers at all nor am I pretending to. I know my experiences and what resonates to be the truth. I would just challenge everyone reading this to take inventory of the top three most potent bad memories they have and see how it's affected them now.

For example, if you had a father who was constantly at work and wasn't the type say I love you, is that the reason you make it a point to be there for kids and smother them in affection? Although that's a positive outlet, that still doesn't address the deeper issue. It masks it. Or if you had a mom who was neglectful or abusive. Is that the reason you treat women as commodities and don't take relationships seriously?

See, because everything we do is a result of everything that we have done, nothing in this life is not connected. Every action stems from something. Check yourself and check your pain.