Growing up I was never really part of any group; I wasn’t artistic, athletic nor was I a brainiac. I felt as though I never fit in anywhere no matter how much I tried. I had friends who often referred to their dance teams as a “second family” … Where was my second family? Where did I belong? I asked myself these questions numerous times throughout my childhood, as well as my adolescence. When it came time to choose a post-secondary institution, I chose a University 12 hours away from home. I had reasons just like everyone else, but I think what pushed me the most, was trying to find somewhere I fit in, somewhere I could have a “second family.” Half way through my first year, a local pageant was accepting delegates and I just decided what the heck! What’s the worst that could happen? I don’t win a title? Who cares anyways? This was my chance at finally finding something I enjoyed surrounded by people I could call my family.

Well, I can honestly say I’ve fallen head over heels with the pageant community. In my first local pageant, I won the big title of Miss Kapuskasing as well as secondary titles such as Miss Friendship and Miss Participation. After winning over 1000$ in scholarships, gifts, an amazing experience and new friendships, I finally felt satisfied with myself. I was walking around my apartment in the morning wearing my pajamas and had my crown proudly planted on the top of my head along with left over pageant makeup and knotty curls. But so what? I felt beautiful. But I didn’t just win crowns, I learned a lot throughout this journey and that’s what I’ve decided to share in this article…

1. Some girls are there for the crown and that’s about it.

I didn’t want to start with a negative point, but really it isn’t such a bad thing. At the end of the pageant, when you find out not every girl valued your friendship as much as you did, it will hurt you. And you may cry, but that’s OK. I remember thinking, “Well shit, I rather have my friends back than this crown.” But if you think about it, those girls pushed themselves and worked hard to win that title, their determination is something I’ll always look up to. So, my first lesson was to picture yourself in another delegates’ high heels before you're quick to judge their actions or their “poor sportsmanship.”

Volunteering is FUN.

There are so many people who cringe at that word, but seriously there’s no better feeling than helping others for the pure reason of helping others. Some pageants will ask you if you've ever volunteered and if so, for what organizations, it is very highly looked upon. But once you start volunteering, you won't want to stop!

Pageants promote a healthy lifestyle.

I can only speak for the pageants that I’ve participated in but, every one of them promoted a healthy lifestyle, both physically and mentally. Most pageants will have a fitness competition. Now before you go assuming what this consist of, we would go to the gym and each have our turn doing a workout. These workouts weren’t hardcore cross fit, just your basics that everyone should know! Now for our mental health, there are many motivational speakers as well as yoga instructors that each have workshops with us. This part of a pageant really helped me with accepting myself and knowing how to properly improve myself without drastically changing into someone I’m not.

4. Hard Work Pays Off.

I’ve spent months preparing for pageants, through all the tears and the stress it ALWAYS paid off. The whole pageant week/weekend is the best experience ever, and you’ll be so thankful you put so much work into it. Even if you don’t win a title, just the fact that you could pull all of that off and rock it on stage makes you a winner.

5. You don’t have to be a dancer to perform a pageant dance.

Oh, trust me, I’m nowhere near a dancer and I’m sure if you ask any delegate who has done a pageant with me, they’ll let you know that learning a dance is my biggest challenge. I just don’t get it, the counting, the stepping, the moving… But it’s OK. I was lucky and had some girls literally help me on stage during the pageant night because when we had to go left, I was going… my other left. But seriously, I’ve learned that if you just have fun on stage you can still rock it!

6. A crown isn’t the only thing you win.

Finally, I’ve learned that the crown is not the only thing you win when being crowned a title. Along the way, you’ve won friendships, life lessons, future opportunities, and most of all a pageant family.

To all my pageant sisters and pageant moms I’ve met along this ride, thank you for accepting me into this tightly knit, loving family. I could not ask for a better one.