Whoever said that five-feet-tall gals (give or take) — whose waistlines are practically the width of their thighs, and busts do not quite extend as far out as their behinds — shouldn't wear over-the-knee boots is a liar.

Our waists may not curve more acutely than 180 degrees, but if you catch us at the right angle, you'll see how full-figured our fashion sense has developed to be.

If reading this article's subheading felt as fitting as your favorite padded sports bra, "fake it 'til you make it" is a phrase you know all too well. I say this because there are these funny undergarment thingies that we wear.

The only thing training bras prepared me for were itchy skin dents and debuting my signature dance move.

You think I'm shimmying like I'm one of Beyonce's backup dancers, but I'm proving that girls really do run the world. In 2009, a boy band called Flobots sang about riding bikes with no handlebars, but I exhibited the art of sliding my fallen bra straps back up, over my shoulders with no fingertips.

Shopping for any article of clothing can be both a nightmare and hilarious for petite, box-acious women like me because I cannot try on anything without comparing it to things that aren't actually meant to be worn...

Seldom do I feel satisfied wearing a maxi dress because what is meant to look like a waterfall sweeping down my legs — that only go for half days — is basically a rag that you keep losing your car keys underneath.

To make matters worse, and I guess comic too, le babushkas only provide enough lift-age to shorten the skirt hem about half an inch.

There is a reason why a song called "Clothes Make the Girl" exists, and not "Curves Make the Woman."

Good news is, there is no way the buns I lack thereof ever made me feel less of a woman. Plus, it's okay if you laughed a lil' while reading this petite gal's tale.