In previous articles, I've tackled my personal struggles with overthinking. It has been a consistent problem that has made day-to-day life full of unrealistic and daunting pressures.
As of recently, I've spent the time to take a step back from my life and all of the components I juggle (my Faith and walk with Jesus, my schoolwork, working towards my future career, my current work as a part-time missionary, my friendships, and relationships). After reflecting on the brilliant (and short) book by Henri J.M. Nouwen, "Out Of Solitude," I found a passage that convicted me of my tendency to overthink:
"It is in the faithful waiting for the loved one that we know how much He has filled our lives already."
After taking a step back from life, I made a list of all the things "on my plate" so to speak. Laying it all out there, I realized a source of a lot of the stress I've been internalizing:
I'm dreaming and hoping for the wrong "days."
I know many people would argue that you just need to put your hope in the right "thing" or put your trust in the right person or career path to deter overthinking. But honestly, I'm not convinced.
I think one of the (many) sources of stress and overthinking is most of it is birthed from anticipation. I focus on the day I get my dream job, and I start overthinking how I'm going to get there and have the qualification for it. I focus on the day I am in a relationship or get married, all the anxieties around that start playing in my head.
For me, my overthinking takes the form of fantasies and the days in the future where I hope for fulfillment, where I'll finally have "peace" about a situation or aspect of my life. But as a follower of Jesus, I should already know and believe what that day is.
As a Christian, my belief is that Jesus is returning, and one day, He will make all things right and new and I will live a life on this newly created Earth with all of His restored creation.
Where I'm placing my hope and the ultimate day I am hoping for says a lot about my spiritual posture. If I'm anticipating and dreaming of earthly pleasures and events, that the height of where my joy will be found in, and I'll be left to overthinking these human, easy-to-mess-up moments.
That is why it is important for me to hold fast to the true and only source I need to be putting my hope. Yes, I am hoping for the day Jesus returns, but that only matters because of the very fact that Jesus has already begun the process of making all things right and new.
The life of living newly created is happening right now, because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.
Putting my true expectation and thinking into the day Jesus returns is the only day that makes sense for me to hope for because there is no room for overthinking, there is no source of stress and worry. I still have these things on my plate, these pressures and new things moving forward into this new school year, but none of them are the end of my story, or even the defining moment of my story, because: A. the defining moment already happened, when God presented all of His creation the Way to New Life, and B. it's not my story, it's God's story, in which I am following the Way that the Creator has not only set forward for us all, but has lived Himself.
