One of the perks of going to a fairly large college is getting to hear all of the funny, cringey, and downright weird things people say. Some of these were heard first-hand and some have been reported through friends - all are priceless.
*A few of these quotes were overheard near campus and not directly on campus, but they were too good not to include.
1. This philosophical lad
"These thoughts are like the extremists in the parliament of my mind, but I think I have good governance."
-boy to his girlfriend in a coffee shop near campus
2. Oh the naivetè
*a group of campus freshmen walk past*
"I don't know how sustainable this whole walking thing is gonna be..."
-one of the freshmen
"Someone's going to be crying tonight and I think it's gonna be me."
-girl to a friend, in the library
4. This thought that likely originated from an altered state of mind...if you know what I mean
"What do potatoes look like underground?"
-boy to his friend group, in a coffee shop
5. The earth-lover
"Hey, how are you?"
"Good! Just got done composting."
-friend to a friend, in a coffee shop
6. Also relatable
"Yeah, I think I'm just gonna stay in my apartment and cry instead of coming to see you."
-guy on the phone with (presumably) his girlfriend, in the library
"Bro, look at this picture of Gracie."
"Wait, who? Ohhh, she's the one that wants to be cute."
-frat guy to his frat guy friends, in the library
8. On everyone's favorite household staple
"Well, eventually the kids are gonna need more Yoohoo!!"
-a woman, exasperatedly, to her husband on a Walmart grocery aisle
9. Relatable yet again
"I could die of an aneurysm at any time. This Sunday could be the last Sunday I ever have to worry about going to work."
-boy to his friend, walking down the South Oval
10. About a crazy old man
"He was pointing his cane at me. I was thinking 'you can do somethin' else with that cane if you know what I mean."
-guy to his friend, in the library
11. So do a lot of people, Cindy. You're not New Age
"There's this concept I looove that I like to call mental hygiene. I consider running part of my mental hygiene."
-girl to a friend, in a coffee shop
12. This unique description
"Wolves are the dolphins of the land."
-my professor, in a class that has nothing to do with biology (apparently it's an evolutionary truth!)
13. And perhaps the nerdiest quote of them all
"Ha, he doesn't even know the death spell yet. What's he gonna do? Expeliarmus him to death??"
-my roommate, while watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban