There are a lot of feelings to feel. In my case, I'd say there's way too many feels… but of all the emotions I've experienced. I find that the worse one is regret. If you've never experienced it, congratulations on crunching life and pursuing your dreams! However if you have, then you know it's a terrible sinking pit of a feeling that's only made worse by the fact that, in hindsight it could have easily been avoided.
Regret
First it's good to pinpoint and analyze regret for what it is. When we wish things had turned out differently. It's not for nothing, it's because we are unsatisfied with the current outcome and visualized a better one. However we fail to realize, that it could of just as easily turned out worse. Regret is especially painful because it drags us back to the mistakes of the past. Which means, even though we might be working towards a better outcome, we're not truly able to take the necessary steps to move forward.
Regret isn't all bad, because it's a sign that we have learned and grown a little. We've realized that along the way, a mistake was made and it would be wise to either take the steps to correct it or prevent it from happening again.
Fear
Something regret doesn't come from making a mistake but from a missed opportunity. Thomas Edison apparently said that "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and it looks like work". I don't necessarily disagree but I also think people miss opportunities because they are fearful. Fearful of failing, or not living up to expectations.
But what's wrong with failure. The more I read and listen about people who became titans in their industries. They had about three thing in common. From all the podcasts, books and articles I've consumed on success and influence people. Three things continually come up. The first was failure, some small and insignificant but other times quite massive failures. The second is they didn't quit, whenever they were faced with an obstacle they just adjusted and kept moving forward. And third they didn't have fear, or if they did it was grossly outshined by they're desire to succeed.
Keep Forward
I've learned that there's nothing to gain from wishing for an alternate outcome to our current situation. Because there's no turning back time and dwelling on past mistakes can be toxic and lead us to repeating them. So how can we use regret to our advantage? First, we have to accept that things turned out exactly as they were meant to. If you're not where you want to be, take a step back and be grateful for where you are now.
Know that you are capable of reflection, use it to forge your path forward. And keep forward, as I said success is not defined by a lack of failure but a relentless need to keep pushing, adjusting at every roadblock. Find something you believe in and do it with passion. Than there won't be room for regret and fear will be insignificant.
