To those who say I try too hard: you’re right. I’ve been a perfectionist my entire life, and I’m not afraid to admit it. However, it’s not because of a holier-than-thou mindset, but it’s the idea that I need to be the best that I can be.
I live in a privileged, white community. My parents struggle with this. Being in a member of the minority with no formal education degree, it’s hard to gain credibility or earn money. They work in a restaurant, and I don’t have the luxury of being with them everyday. It would be shocking for some to say that they don’t know my friends, much less what classes I take. Things would often slip their minds, and they would be distracted by the stress of running a business.
I saw this from a young age. Growing up, I had parents who tried to be there to support me, no matter how difficult it was and still is. They were hard workers, and I’ve always admired that about them. (The only reason we haven't moved elsewhere is because they want to give my sister and me the best education offered.) As much as I appreciated it, there was something — a connection — that prevented me from being my true self around them. It’s definitely a different experience that the relationships other families in the area have.
My parents have always told me to work hard to achieve my goals, or else I’ll be stuck like them — exhausted with no time for family and friends. I’ve always kept this in the back of my mind. I worked my butt off at school, and I did my best to improve my other interests, such as art and ballet, and eventually writing and Color Guard. It’s become a habit of mine. If I can’t work hard for it, then what’s the point? This all-or-nothing approach is something that I live by. Yes, it hurts when I don’t get what I want, but I move on eventually.
There are so many opportunities out there, and I've noticed that so many people take it for granted. The United States is a land of opportunity, so why aren’t people taking the chance? There are so many people out there who would kill to be in our place. There are people who dream but can't due to other conflicts.
And this, right here, bothers me.
If you want to do something, do it. Don’t expect less of yourself when you know you can work a little harder to get what you want. Don’t be afraid to chase after your dreams, even if they seem impossible. Don’t give up before you start.
I’m grateful to be where I am today: with food, a family and a roof over our heads. Though it’s not exactly the best, I have it far better than a lot of others.
I want to make the best of everything. If I can get an education, I will. If I can get all As on my transcript, I will. If I can get into top classes as well as a leadership positions, I will. If I can work now and save a little money for the future, I will.
And, I did. I did it all.
