Being in a sorority is something that I never knew that I wanted.

I started freshman year at a small university with no recognized greek life, and I was also a student-athlete. I barely had time away from my team, and I definitely never thought that I would join the service fraternity on campus.

However, when I joined Alpha Mu Sigma at Mary Washington I was hooked. I met so many genuine women and men, and I ended up making some of my best friends for life within the organization.

When I decided to transfer to William and Mary I knew it was going to be an uphill battle to find where I would fit in. Transferring colleges is not easy, and transferring as a junior definitely made it harder. I had my mind set that I would go through recruitment from the second that I got my acceptance letter, and I never changed my mind. I had such an amazing experience in my service fraternity, that I just expected I would find that same type of home at William and Mary. I went through recruitment and ultimately I ended up getting my top choice on bid day.

However, a little bit more than a year later, I can say with certainty that my sorority house is not my home.

Recruitment counselors told us that we should trust the system and that there's a home for everyone. Yet, I never felt at home with my "sisters." I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

I'm in a sorority with 100ish girls, and I've never felt like I had that support system here. There have been girls in my sorority who would avoid making eye contact with me in the hallways at school. Some other "sisters" wouldn't even give me the decency of a simple smile.

When we were given buddies our first few weeks in the sorority, half of the girls never even made an effort to hang out with me. I tried with my pledge class, and with the other girls in the sorority, but at the end of the day I felt like I was only chosen to be a "sister" to meet a quota, and that hurts.

Ultimately, my heart was broken that I joined the sorority to find sisters and friends and I put in the effort and left with nothing. I really needed the support system I thought my sorority would provide, yet during the course of my junior year when the shit hit the fan, there was no one there to help.

Over the course of the year, my parents separated and got divorced, my mom moved hundreds of miles away, I wasn't speaking to my dad, I tore my Achilles and was on crutches for months, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I started to lose contact with one of my best friends.

All of this happened while my best friends were two hours up the interstate, and we couldn't find more than one opportunity a semester to hang out. I needed friends and family, and I wanted that from my sorority, but I feel like I was never given a chance.

I have hope that I will be able to find an awesome alumni chapter after I graduate this coming May, and I fully intend to give the sorority another chance. However, until then, I'm stuck on the outside looking in.

Yes, I'm in a sorority, but this sorority is clearly not my family, and that sorority house will never be my home.