Never did I think this would be the first Christmas without you. Grandma I miss you very much, I truly do. I miss your opinions on everything happening in the world and I really do want to know what you think of the new president-elect because you passed only a few days short of the election results. I loved the way you never held your opinions in and always spoke your mind, I think I get that from you,

As this is the first Christmas without you, I hope you know this will be one of the hardest times we encounter as a family and I want you to know it still hasn't sunk in completely for us all. I'm going to miss going over to your house on Christmas day to exchange presents with you and probably receive a card with my name misspelled on it, seriously Jesse? C'mon. As long as I can remember there was never an i in my name when it came to your spelling of it. Knowing I won't receive a misspelled card this December 25th is a hard thought to understand but I am trying, I swear.

I miss your gossip about the people in your apartment complex, I always knew who did what and why as soon as I walked into the door. I hope you know that Alexis and I plan to carry on this way of life and gossip just as much as you did so your legacy can continue. The gossiping will not stop anytime soon, we promise.

I've always heard that the first few holidays without your loved one are the worst and I now know this is true. I miss going shopping for your Christmas presents, usually pajamas because mom ran out of ideas. I miss seeing the look on your face when you opened your gifts and told us "you really shouldn't have" or "I don't need this". You were such a selfless person. I admire you for your attitude in live and your helpfulness to others. I'm going to miss your apartment being decorated with Christmas decorations galore and a few cows because they were always out anyways.

This year, we're using your Christmas tree in our house. Although mom and I had to fight to have this up because some people don't like fake Christmas trees, I really feel like you are here with us for Christmas. It's either that tree, or all the Elvis memorabilia we have of yours still at the house. But I know you are here with us, now and forever. Christmas won't be the same this year, or maybe even five years from now, however I know you are still with us this season and at anytime we need any sort of direction in life. I know you'll be there to whack us in the heads and ask us what the hell we think we're doing. I'm extremely grateful to have a guardian angel watching over me for the rest of my life, and I'm even more grateful it's you.