I know what you're thinking, Orlando can't be that bad, there's Disney World and Universal and Sea World!
Let me just say, you have no idea...
1. The drivers. Oh the drivers.
Not just the traffic, but the drivers. No one freaking knows how to drive in Orlando. Between the tourists, the foreigners, and the college kids, you're basically just wishing death upon yourself if you climb in a car in Orlando.
Pictured: the wreckage of my car accident in Orlando. Where an idiot Orlando driver took the front end of my car off because he "didn't see me."
So moral of the story, Orlando drivers are horrible and also blind.
2. The traffic.
Tyler ser Noche
While we're on the subject, Orlando traffic is garbage.
And on top of Orlando traffic being garbage, there's constant road construction. Everywhere. 192, I-4, Colonial. So you can be seven miles away from your destination, but it will still take you half an hour to get there.
Thinking of hitting up one of the amazing restaurants on I-drive? Might as well budget in an hour to get there. Oh and $10 to park. Because parking in Orlando is equally as stupid.
Orlando just sucks, okay?
3. The constantly hot weather.
I HAVE BEEN IN ORLANDO FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS AND HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO WEAR ANY OF MY CUTE WINTER CLOTHES.
They just sit in my closet, anxiously awaiting the temperature to drop below seventy-five degrees. And it never does.
I've even given up on jeans. Because whenever I wear them, I end up sweaty and sticky from the humidity. And I'm a Florida girl! I've lived in Florida my whole life! But North Florida does not even compare to the monstrosity that is South Florida.
I'm dying here.
Just imagine, no white Christmas, no breezy Fall, no cool Spring. Just hot and rain. Mostly hot. All hot. So much hot.
4. All the tourists.
Y'all knew I was going to bring up the tourists. Because what's Orlando without them?
Listen, we love that you and your families come down here for your vacations. That's great. Thank you. We wouldn't have half the jobs we do without you.
But y'all have to go home at some point!
I get that Orlando never really gets a slow season. But y'all know good and well that summer is the absolute WORST time to come here. It's 10x hotter than usual, it's packed, and everybody's miserable.
So how about everyone stays home for the summer so the rest of us can take shelter in the air conditioning and reemerge, say, late October when it's not a hundred degrees?.
5. It's sooo expensive.
Oh my word, I was not prepared for the living expenses in Orlando. Between rent, tolls, and the tourist pricing on everything, I'm lucky to not be completely broke yet.
I'm not even kidding.
I pay $600 for a bedroom with a bathroom. $600! And I live with three other roommates!
And don't even get me started on the tolls. And how expensive it is just to live.
There should be a locals discount for everywhere in Orlando. For tolls, for groceries, for Chipotle. I'm cool with charging the tourists insane prices, but not me man. I just live here.
With over two-hundred thousand people trying to live in Orlando alongside the millions of tourists, its bound to suck.
You really do have to put yourself out there to try to make the best of it.