Painfully Optimistic

Being The Optimist Seems Great, Until You Get Hurt Too Many Times

There's only so much you can take.

Hope Orr
Hope Orr

I always get compliments for being such an optimist. I always thought it was a good thing too. Lots of people believe that if you're positive and tell yourself good things will happen to you, they will. In some cases, that's proved to be very true.

In most, however…

After a while, you start to believe that people love your optimism because you can always see the best in them, and they can just continue to walk all over you.

It's like they believe they have an unlimited amount of chance, but I'm so tired of being the one that always has to take a backseat in people's lives.

Maybe I'm just an idiot for believing people would actually do what they promise?

Maybe I'm dumb for believing I can count on anyone.

Well, I can't do it anymore. I've been let down, lied to and forgotten too many times to be looked at as "the optimistic one". There's only so many things that can go wrong before you start to feel not so positive anymore.

It sucks.

I can barely think of a time when someone actually came through for me when they said they would. I'm the only person I've ever been able to count on.

I feel like there's nothing but obstacles that I can never get over. One after the other, after the other, eventually I fall and break something.

I want to be the happy, positive one. I wish I could still believe that things will work out. I've been stabbed in the back too many times to stay that way.

There are countless movie quotes calling optimist idiots, and I used to think that there is no reason not to be optimistic.

Turns out I am just an idiot.

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.


To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!


It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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