When the theme for the party is "Emergency," it's not hard to picture what the boys expect from the girls: cops, nurses, love doctors, firefighters -- all of the short, tight, revealing Halloween costume variety.

Per usual, I was not interested in doing what everyone else was doing, so I donned a homemade "everyday hero" costume -- a $3 oversized polo from Goodwill that says "9 Year Service Award - Rebecca" across the chest. When I came home and showed this costume to my friends, their response was not, "Wow! You are so creative and fun! How unique and awesome you are, dear friend!" In fact, it was quite the opposite: "Um, I have a cop costume upstairs. Do you want it?"

I was really put off by their response. Of course, I didn't want to be a sexy cop! Did these people know me at all? I am the resident in-your-face feminist of the house -- I mean, I subscribe to Lena Dunham's newsletter and loudly critique the degrading rap songs played at frat parties (yes, I know. I'm obnoxious). Dressing as a sexy cop would be a total cop-out, and would go against everything I stand for.

However, their response made me step back and reevaluate my exact reasoning for why I refused to dress up in "slutty" costumes. It's not like I've never dressed up in a generic female Halloween costume before (here's lookin' at you, junior year), but I somehow found myself at a place where I felt fundamentally against the whole idea.

From a feminist perspective, you can take one of two sides: the first is that it's a woman's prerogative to own her sexuality and wear whatever she wants. This is the Beyoncé view of feminism. As B puts it, "The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims. Women are so much more than that. You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist -- whatever you want to be -- and still be a sexual being. It's not mutually exclusive."

This perspective is empowering in its own way, by showing that women can be sexual and powerful simply because they feel like it, and the hell with what anyone else thinks about it. It's a progressive, individualistic way of looking at promiscuous attitudes and appearances.

The second side to take is that we shouldn't be wearing the sexy costumes, because in doing so we are merely submitting to male wishes and the patriarchal eye. This is the side that I tend to agree with more often -- including the case of this particular party. Obviously, the boys wanted us to show up as "slutty" nurses and cops, while they could get away with wearing some lousy t-shirt with a red cross on it. There's a definite divide between what men can get away with wearing, and what girls are expected to wear to parties, and it's sickening. Boys can half-ass their (not even slightly revealing) costumes, while girls are expected to go full hair and makeup, complete with a tight, short, low-cut outfit.

These differing standards are present everywhere -- I subscribe to Rolling Stone magazine, and realized that their female cover stars are always highly sexualized, while the male cover stars are always fully-clothed and shown from the neck-up. Check it out.

While I'm all for the sexual revolution, I think there are better ways to exercise your right to be a sexual being than to wear a generic adult women's Halloween costume to a frat party. My frustration comes from the fact that these girls know the expectations set forth, and choose to oblige anyway. Whether that choice be for the purpose of fitting in, or getting a little attention from the opposite sex for a night, the reasoning lacks a certain element of self-worth and independence that Beyoncé's feminism calls for.

I encourage my friends to find other ways to assert their sexual freedom than to please some random boy who wants to sleep with them, but doesn't actually respect them. I felt awesome in my nerdy costume, and I promise boys even talked to me and told me they liked my costume. Dare to be different and make a statement with your choices that reflects who you truly are, not what the party scene expects you to be. I swear you'll be happier and more confident because of it!