Intelligence. Independence. Drive. Creativity. Care. Open-mindedness. Compassion.
They're just words, right? If you look at them, you know they have meaning and should be important. But as a society, we have lost the desire for the qualities. Sure, most of us would say we see those attributes in ourselves. Do you know who we do not see them in? Our company. Relationships and friendships, even strangers.
When did we lose sight of the important qualities?
We are submerged in a world of outer importance. I like to refer to it as the "surface you." By this, I mean there is nothing deeper than what we see on the surface. The personality, the quirks, the emotion: it seems everyone gets the same, no matter if they are the most important person in your life or a stranger you pass on the sidewalk. Everyone sees the same version of you.
We have a brain that allows us to see and experience such a wide array of things. The problem is we have forgotten or shut ourselves off from sharing those experiences with others. This is what I mean by "surface you." We feel that everything anyone could ever need to know about us is on the surface. That, unfortunately, is not true.
I am so tired of the excuse, "It's difficult to open up because blah blah blah." No, it's not. Talk. Express emotion. Communicate ideas. Be willing to let people know you. You are your own person with views and ideas and opinions that deserve to be heard. Stop hiding behind the surface version of yourself. You’re much more than what is visibly obvious.
I am not saying shout your business to every stranger you see. What I am saying is, allow yourself to open up to the individuals who you think are important. Let them know you and you can know them. Discuss world problems, politics, conspiracy theories, and opinions on religion. Appreciate conversation.
We have lost the longing for these important qualities. Especially in a significant other. We set our standards on beauty and qualities that fade. When did intelligence and being opinionated and striving for goals become less important than looks?
You want to know why I decided to write this. A rap song. Nelly to be precise. "Your body's bangin mama, but where ya brains at?" Who knew that on a random Tuesday, I'd hear a song on the radio and realize it was so significant. As dumb as that sounds, it's true. So thanks Nelly. My 13-year-old self still loves you.
We don't care about anything but surface and it is a shame. We have forgotten how to connect to another individual on a deeper, more meaningful level.
Maybe we didn't forget and we're just afraid to open up. Guess what though? If you're afraid, you're going to miss so many wonderful opportunities to know individuals who have an immense amount of voice and depth to them. You're going to miss the best conversations, because you're too afraid to open up. You're going to miss the most incredible human beings.
Your brain is wired for these types of things. Use it the way it was intended to be used. Think and talk beyond the surface. The surface is boring. Open your mind to new possibilities and what others have to bring to the table. You'll meet some amazing people with more to offer than you could ever imagine.
