Dear Author, angry person, sad person, person who has cheated, been cheated on, mother, father, daughter, son, third cousin twice removed, and any off branch of emotional stability or familial relation I may have missed,
Forgive me, as I see you are penning yet another long open letter to, (Insert a person, group, or animal here). I see you wish to make lasting change with your words. I commend and respect that. However, the most cynical parts of me cannot help but question exactly what form of change you are addressing. Your pay check is too small, your white privilege/guilt is showing and/or you feel the need to apologize for something you may or may not have had anything to do with. Perhaps you just feel as though Donald Trump will stop being an insensitive human being and inciting violence long enough for him to have someone read him the six page letter you have typed up… in comic sans no less.
Is this the part where I apologize repeatedly, and no one sees it as the people who you want to read your open letters normally don’t seem to give it the time of day? Perhaps after we have demanded higher pay from our bosses, apologized to every person that we have treated badly (whether it was really us or someone who is sort of kind of like us in appearance or creed) because of their skin color, sex, sexuality, gender, religion, creed, taste in music (except for those who like pop music they can’t be forgive for that) we can feel some sort of relief about our current situation.
I do humbly apologize if these words have left a bad taste in your mouth; that was only partly my intention. I won’t pretend that I am a fan of open letters, but I do very much enjoy the irony of this letter. As I write this I can only imagine the look on the faces of those who are currently midway through their third open letter. I know it may be hard to swallow, but perhaps in the future instead of writing yet another tear jerking open letter, you could just maybe go outside and protest for actual change. If the mood so happens to strike one night and you find your hands unable to be controlled by your body, and you begin to write yet another open letter to someone who is definitely not going to read it, I shall request that you include a TL;DR section as well; if you do so I almost promise to at least read that before judging you harshly.
So in conclusion, please for the love of all that is holy, stop with the open letters to people. They are not being read by the intended audience and your time could actually be spent making realistic, tangible change in our world through fundraising, protesting, and the occasional interpretive dance to lighten the mood. We the people of the Internet, nay, the entire world beg of you, do not pen one more open letter.
Sincerely,
The Entire world + Dustin Daniels
