There are numerous reasons why we didn’t work out, and no matter what or who we place the blame on, the results will always remain the same: We are separated now and although it hurt like hell for awhile, it was the best decision either one of us could ever make.
The first time I met you back in high school, I knew there was something special about you. Maybe it was the way you worked to get through my shy exterior, the way conversation so naturally flowed between us, or the way my smile never seemed to leave my face when I was around you. Soon into our friendship, I knew I was falling for you, falling so hard into what I thought was love; I was blind to all the cruel things you put me through for the next three years.
I had become so comfortable with us being friends that I didn’t know how to react when you told me upfront about your feelings for me a few months later. I had turned you down in fear of ruining our “perfect friendship” and watched you love someone else for a year, putting my feelings aside. Then, one drunken night, we committed the ultimate relationship sin: I helped you cheat on the girl you said you loved the most after you said the exact same thing to me. Once you became single again is when our story truly begins. Following that begins the two years of torture, constant fighting, deceit and never knowing what was truly going on with us. The only thing I thought I knew for sure was that I loved you and wanted to be with you. I stuck by you and gave you everything, no matter how you treated me. All the times you didn’t answer me, left me tossing and turning about what we were becoming and the doom I knew we were bound to endure. Every time you put me aside for something else made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you, or when you put me down. No matter what, I was there. Only when the truth came out, and I realized you were treating another girl the same way you treated me, did I realize you had been lying the whole time. You hadn’t been good enough for me and you were the one that didn’t deserve to be loved the way I loved you. We fought: I screamed and cried and asked why and you responded with your typical deadpan, proving to me, once and for all, nothing would ever change. Finally, we graduated high school and I said goodbye to you as a person and us as a relationship for good.
Fast-forward a few years and I have never been happier where I am. I know what I deserve and what I am meant to have in life. I was so blinded by lust and immaturity that I mistook your unkind actions for love, which couldn’t be further from the truth. After being in a relationship with true love, I have learned what being in love truly feels like and how I felt the opposite when I was with you. Although I don’t have much to thank you for, thank you for showing me everything true love wasn’t and helping me make sure I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. It is only from being so torn down I have turned into the happy, confident, strong and loving person I am today. Thank you for helping mold myself into the best version of myself and helping me find the best people to surround myself with. I couldn’t be happier without you.
