To the person who didn't believe in me,
It wasn't that you blatantly told me you didn't believe in me or expected I would fail - it was more subtle than that. It was that look you gave me when I expressed a dream that seemed just out of reach; the hesitance and doubt you displayed when something happened and I felt the need to defend myself to you. I know you cared about me and most of the time, I sensed your caring in your doubt. You would tell me that you love and support me, it just seems "crazy" or "unreasonable," and you're looking out for my best interests. But your lack of support didn't feel like my "best interests," it felt like a ball and chain around my ankle while I was trying to fly. I know you didn't mean it that way, so it's important you know that I understand where you were coming from.
So I want to thank you. Thank you for those subconscious looks and tenuous little comments of doubt. You gave me a reality-check when I needed it the most. I learned a couple big things from your disbelief in my abilities, the first of which being to rely only on myself to believe in my capabilities. That doesn't mean I can never accept others' encouragement and belief in me, simply that I should only expect my own, since no one else has an obligation to do it for me. However, every person that supports and encourages me is a wonderful blessing who reminds me to never stop believin' (Journey said it best, though).
You also taught me that I respond surprisingly well to a challenge of my abilities. When you insinuated that you questioned my sanity, you lit a flame inside me that wanted to prove you wrong. I didn't want to curl up and cry because the person I thought would be there for me, wasn't. I wanted to show you that I'm not crazy and if I'm reaching for the stars, I do intend to reach them. And now, I'm proud to be able to say that I did it. But I now know that it's okay to not be "right" sometimes. I know that I didn't fail or prove your point just because I didn't reach those stars this time around.
Finally, you taught me the importance of balance. While I didn't always particularly welcome your cynicism, I still fully recognized its value. There were times that my head was way out in outer space and you brought me back down from it. There were also times that your doubt showed me the hard truths that I needed to see. Those truths saved me and/or grew me in a lot of ways; I truly appreciate that. Nevertheless, you should never nail your feet to the floor. This world isn't all butterflies and rainbow bridges to achieving your dreams, so sometimes you need to get your head in the clouds and away from the harsh realities. That being said, you got me to my happy medium and helped me learn a lot in the process.
So thank you, non-believer, for showing me the truths, lighting my flame, and setting me on my path to proving that I can do the un-doable.
Now I want you to take something from your time with a believer: It's okay to aim high. It's even okay to jump when you don't see solid ground to land on. It's scary, I know, but some of my most rewarding moments have been the ones when I didn't know where I would land. Spoiler alert, I ended up better off than if I would have stayed stagnant in my previous spot. Just take the leap; we don't live in a black hole so you'll land somewhere eventually, I promise.
