Dear "Parent",
No I am not putting quotations to cover up your name, I am putting quotations to state that you are acting as someone you are not. You are not a parent. There was a time that you were the center of my universe; every child feels that way. A child is programmed to love their parents. Everything a child does is to please their parents and to have fun. It is a care-free world when you are young. But you took that away from me.
I know that the economy does not provide the best environment to grow up in. I also know that being a single parent is a very hard job to do. But the poverty we grew up in could have prevented. I deserved to be taken care of. There were a lot of things that you could have lived without. How could your child's need for food, heat, and basic necessities not come before your own needs?
Growing up poor did not break our relationship. It was the fact that you are a toxic person. You are a disgusting and manipulative person. You were supposed to protect me from the bad in the world. Instead you showed me a domestic violence relationship. You exposed me to everything that I don't want for my future. You were supposed to support me. Instead you verbally abused me. At a young age I grew up and started taking care of myself. A little girl grew up being her own parent.
When I came home crying about the bullies at school you should not have said "suck it up." I needed you to tell me that they were wrong. You telling me to laugh when they called me fat did not help my self esteem. When I came home with a crush you should not have told me that it wouldn't work out. "He is just going to cheat on you" was not what a 15-year-old wants to hear. But when it finally happened and you were the support I needed, you were not there. "Told you so" and "saw it coming" were there. Those words were there in the shower, in my bed, and in my thoughts.
We grew apart because I saw the potential in myself. This little girl saw a future for herself. I wanted to move out of the small town you put us in. I wanted to go to college and get a degree. I wanted to get a job to support myself. I no longer wanted to hear plates crashing and screaming voices at night. I no longer wanted to drive you to the hospital when it got out of control. I no longer wanted to be called the vulgar things you said.
You do not deserve my forgiveness. I gave you eighteen years of my life and you didn't fix anything. Even after moving out and cutting off connections with you, you continue to treat me wrongly. Please stop asking family about me, they know I'm okay. Please stop wishing I would die in a car crash, I plan to live a long life. Please stop questioning why we don't talk, you ruined my childhood and I refuse to let you ruin my future. You were never a parent and I will never need you to be. I have grown up and I no longer need you.
Goodbye forever,
Your Child
To anyone reading this that has a toxic parent in their life. Cut them off from hurting you. You deserve so much more. Your future does not rely on them. It may be hard to build yourself back up. You will cry. You will question why those things happened. But there are people that are going to love you and treat you with the respect you deserve. Your past makes you the person you are today and you can use that to push yourself forward. These toxic people will suck the life out of you if you let them.
