To those who grew up in a home with parents who were happily married,

I am not writing this letter to you to bash you for living a life of which I always have dreamed. I am not mad that your parents have stayed together, and mine did not. I just want you to realize how extremely lucky you really are.

Growing up, my friends would tell me that I was the lucky one. I got to have two homes, two birthday celebrations, two Christmases, etc. Yeah, those things are all great and it was nice to have that. But on the other side of it, I would have much rather been able to make memories with my parents together, making traditions, having meals together, etc.

I was five years old when my parents got divorced, so I don't have any memories at all about us together. That's hard, but I think that actually may be a good thing, because I don't have any memory of all three of us to look back on and get upset about. I have been able to form very great relationships and memories with each of them separately. Of course, it has been rocky, as any type of relationship is.

I am jealous, though, because you to have an image of what a successful marriage looks like, because you grew up with it right in your own home. I have never had one of those in my home. I have seen successful marriages and have been around them. A marriage that I hold in high regard is my great grandparents' relationship. They were married for 68 years. It's a wonderful thing, but I was not around them all the time. I was not there to see how they raised their children, how they split the responsibilities of the home, how they loved each other so much through the tough times, how they had arguments, but worked through them without ending the entire relationship.

I do wish that I would have been able to see these things because knowing that I did not, I am afraid that I am not going to know how to raise children with a partner. When my mom had to make a decision about how to discipline me, she did not have to ask another person to make sure they agreed or had another idea. She just did what she thought was right. I do not know how to properly split responsibilities in the home because my mom has always done all that needed to be done (for the most part).

When the time comes to get married, I will figure all of these things out because no relationship or marriage is exactly the same, anyway. My husband and I will make our own decisions about how to split responsibilities and raise our children. It just is a little nerve wracking knowing that I have never seen it done with two parents in the home, but I will figure it out.

Love,
The girl who grew up in a one parent household.