To my Sisters,
When I first came to campus, I felt so lost with who I was and what I wanted to gain from going Greek or even in my life, but then I met you all. It was like looking into the future of everything I wanted to be and more, to be a woman who is confident, kind and real.
For these reasons, I joined. Though I may not have known this then, this decision would be the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
Freshman year, I was lost.
I felt so alone and as if the world was coming down around me. I pulled farther and farther away from my sisters who I had just met, and never even told them how I was feeling or that I was getting ready to transfer. When my decision was almost final, something told me to reach out, and I did.
The overwhelming amounts of love and support brought this little voice to the back of my mind telling me "stay."
Though these feelings of loss and sadness did not leave, I followed my heart and decided to stay for my sisters.
Once I returned for my second year at ASU and with Delta Gamma, I got into an accident. I was driving on the I-10 to Tempe when two cars came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway and I did not stop in time. I rear-ended one car and the other took off. I totaled both my car and the one I hit, was left with cuts, burns, and bruises all over my body, and a concussion.
I chose not to tell too many people about it because I thought no one would care. But my sorority sisters did. They reached out to me and made sure I was OK and checked in on me if I needed anything. They saved me from falling deeper into the hole that I was already in, and for that I am thankful.
Though I healed from this, I still felt myself distancing from my sisters.
Even with me pushing myself away, they still stayed by my side and motivated me to seek help for what was wrong. Little did I know then that seeking help would bring me to the discovery of a failed knee surgery from high school.
I had two ACL reconstruction surgeries in high school and discovered that I suffer from depression systems when going through stress caused by knee pain, which explained the helplessness I had been feeling for two years. The next step was to have two surgeries within the year to fix my knee.
I got my third knee surgery about a month before classes started for my third year and was unable to walk for weeks. I was already feeling better and becoming more open to the support from my sisters. Shortly after returning to school, I got into another accident. I had been practicing riding my bike to see how my knee felt after weeks of recovery when a car didn't look before turning and struck me.
Fortunately, I walked away with minor injuries, and yet another painful thing I tried to hide from my sisters.
All of these physical burdens continued to pile on to my mental health, and the gloomy reminder I would be getting another knee surgery in the winter. I felt the lost feeling from freshman year begin to return — until some of you that I hadn't really been close to stepped into my life and helped me through the pain.
Once I finally allowed myself to open up and let my sisters into my life, nothing else mattered.
All of these physical ailments and accidents that riddled my body with pain felt like just minor things whenever I am with you. You all may not have realized this, but I probably wouldn't be alive today without you.
Some people outside of Greek life may think this all sounds ridiculous, because how could I possibly be close to around 200 of you realistically and how could you all have possibly helped the way you did, and I will admit that I am not close with all of you.
Despite this, I know who you all are because you are in this chapter and Delta Gamma family for a reason, and by knowing that I know I have you love and support whenever I need it.
Though I thank all of you sisters, there are you few who I hold very dearly and to whom this letter is truly for.
The ones that have stuck by me since freshman year when I hated myself and never wanted to leave my room.
The ones that entered my life in a difficult time and never left. The ones that always made me feel welcomed and loved even when I felt like I had no one.
The ones that brought me into the most wonderful family, and the ones that allowed me to bring them into that same home.
The ones that don't even know my name but still smile and say hello in passing.
The ones who were there for me and didn't know why.
You never ask questions or push me to talk about the things that were hurting me, but still, you were there.
To my sisters in my "crew," thank you for the love and laughter you bring me every day.
To my sister that drove me to class without hesitation and I could talk about literally anything with, thank you for letting me open up to you with no judgment.
To my sister that I work with, thank you for all the love and memories we've made together over the years.
To my big, thank you for being the woman in this world that I look up to.
To my first little, thank you for bringing out the fun in me even when all I want to do is sleep all day.
To my second little, thank you for coming into my life when you did because I don't know where I'd be without you.
To my family, thank you for welcoming me in and being my home away from home.
To the rest of my sisters, thank you for being a part of this big and wonderful family.
I wanted to thank you all for being in my life during these times of difficulty. Whether you were aware of it or not, I really wanted to reflect on everything I've gone through with you all to get me to my senior year and through my (hopefully) last surgery that I just had done in December.
Two years ago, I never thought I'd be here. I thought I was transferring to graduate at a different university, and for a little bit even though I would not return to school at all. I thought I would leave this chapter and never look back, but you are the reason I stayed.
This chapter really did save me from myself and pushed me to keep moving forward even when all I wanted to do was stop. Thank you all for being a part of my life, and I can't wait to finish my last year of college with you by my side.
Your Delta Gamma Sister