Dear you,

Four years ago if someone would of told me I was going to waste my high school years loving you, I honestly would of laughed in their face, because at that time I knew better than to be around people who would rather skip school than attend it.

Now, I am almost nineteen with nothing memorable about high school to share except you. The problem with that sentence is that, you were nothing exciting, nothing happy, nothing that brought me positive things into my life. I spent four years doing nothing but taking care of you, because I had been convinced that your own personal demons mattered more than the dress up weeks or football games; and It's not like I could of put that on a college application.

Before I met you, I was the girl who knew nothing about drugs, or alcohol, who didn't know what the word withdraw meant or what the symptoms meant or what to do when it happens. However now I'm the girl who knows more about your substance abuse problems than I do the content in my psych book, I'm the girl who knows exactly how to detect when your starting to go through withdraw faster than you can, and I am the girl who loved you even when you continually chose those drugs over me.

A girls first love isn't supposed to involve serious adult issues, it isn't supposed to make loving anyone else, but you acted like I was a thirty, and didn't have my whole life ahead of me, you acted like it was okay to break me like you have.

You see, when I didn't have you in my life I felt so unbelievably lost, I felt like I couldn't live without you

Thankfully, now I'm as happy as I've ever been, and I'm making up the time I lost when I didn't know I even lost it. Starting college created a new time of my life to be whoever I chose to be, and I am doing that without an ounce of thought about your well being. I am taking the time to do the things that make me happy.

MY life lesson from this experience is to always at the end of day make sure that you are alright, because no matter what is going on you have to put yourself first , to not be convinced that a person matters more than you do.

At the end of the day I know that I was not wrong for loving you, just wrong for loving you way to much. I know that you're still not doing well, but I also know that it is no longer my responsibility to worry or take care of you.

I deserved better, now I am doing just that, seeking better, not in a person, but in me,

Sincerely,

A girl who didn't know she deserved better