This won’t be full of I miss you’s and this won’t be full of I’m sorry’s even though they both could be said, but this will be more of an appreciation for what came out of me and you.

Before you broke my heart I was weak. I didn’t know how to fend for myself. I didn’t know how to say no. I didn’t know how to say stop.

But you changed that.

Being broken and left alone really forces you to wake up and take control. Take control of your body. Take control of your mind. Take control of your heart.

You helped me, in a way. It was a painful journey and left a lot of scars, but the end result is a much better me.

I thought I needed you. I didn’t think I could survive without you and I definitely didn’t want to. You ran my life and for some reason you decided you wanted to run me into the ground, take everything I had to offer you and then leave.

Oh but no, you didn’t really leave me, you came back from time to time just to remind me that you were still there. And then once you knew you got to me, poof, there you went again.

You spun the truth like a web and trapped me in it. I apologized when you got angry and hurt me, because it must’ve somehow been my fault to begin with. I hated myself because I loved you so much; there was just nothing left for me.

I thought we were normal, what every couple was like, because that’s really all I ever knew.

Damn, was I wrong.

There’s a whole world out there and now I’m able to see it, with no regrets, only lessons.

Now we’re both right where we’re meant to be, and I value that, and you.

As we ran our course you showed me every way that I don’t deserve to be treated. You showed me the ins and outs of what a controlling relationship is, of what I don’t want, and I thank you for that. You were a learning experience. And I love to learn. Which I guess is why I loved you so much.