To all of my guy friends,
First of all, thank you. I could never learn enough languages and be able to thank you enough, and in every way possible for everything you have done for me. Thank you for running into my apartment and killing things with more than 4 legs, for fixing things on my car, for reaching tall things, for eating my kitchen experiments, and for loving me. I don't deserve to have people like you in my life, but for some reason I was blessed with your presence. I am not easy to love on my best day, and somehow you had the strength to hug me through my worst days.
After proving you could be trusted, I let down my walls and let you really see me. I trusted you with my vulnerabilities, and want to thank you for protecting them, and me. You never treated me like a sexualized object, and were always there for me when someone who did hurt my feelings. You were always there to pretend to be my "boyfriend" in an uncomfortable situation, and you always helped me edit my texts from full blown crazy town, to a thoughtful conveyance of what I was really upset about. I want to thank you for being an example of how I am supposed to be treated, for showing me what love without strings attached looks like. For always telling me that I was worth it, and reminding me whoever I was mourning, was the one truly at a loss. While your ability to quickly point out the flaws of the other, less permanent, men in my life is equal parts hilarious and infuriating, I appreciate you holding the "told you so" until I was no longer missing them (or giving them a name like Captain Falcon, Spenser)
Thank you for responding quickly to bears in my front yard (or just coming by to check, Kyle), to spiders in my kitchen, to whether or not I was acting crazy (and responding honestly even when I wasn't ready to hear it). Thank you for putting my fears to rest, whether they be the physical fear of a cockroach, or the emotional fear that nobody will ever love me (you claiming to love me with a mouthful of brownie was always biased but I knew there was truth behind it). I'm appreciative that you stepped in front of me to protect me from physical danger, and acted as a human shield, or dragged me away from situations that had a potentially harmful ending. Im grateful that you saw me ugly cry and only made fun of me for it when enough time had passed, and i was ugly laughing. You made it okay for me to be vulnerable, and you made me realize that even when i felt weak, there was so much that made me strong.
You have been my problem solver, my solution maker, the Tony Stark of my life (minus the billionaire, and genius engineer part) equipped with everything necessary to save the day, and enough sarcastic comments to lighten the load of whatever was weighing me down. Thank you for being objective, and helping me realize that sometimes I have to turn off my emotions in order to successfully work through something. You have pulled me out of my self made pit of despair, or slapped (figuratively, you're not the woman beating type) some sense into me. You've given me a big ole slice of humble pie, or a hefty dosage of reality. You have grounded me to the basics of survival and getting through to the end of a long road when I was spinning out of control.
Thank you all for being the kind of men my dad would want in my life. There is so much I would have never been able to get through without your help, and your absence in my life (even when necessary like deployment or overseas professional athletics) has always been some of the most painful.
Fighting with you gave me some of the most heart wrenching and emotionally painful times in my life. I realize now that you would never have wanted to hurt me, you were looking out for me, and/or I was too stubborn to see you were right, yes this is my in writing proclamation for the world to see that you were in fact right (except for the times i was right...). Some of the hardest times of my life have been the few times that we were at odds. It felt wrong (like when the Avengers were all fighting), it felt like a piece of me was missing, and yet that piece was the only thing that could reassemble what was lost and broken. Thank you for coming back, and helping us to be whole again. Thank you for bearing the brunt of my anger, my mean words, and deciding that I was still worth loving.
I draw on you for a large amount of my strength. Whether or not you meant you, you are in my heart. Not in a romantic way, but still in there all the same. You are a part of who I am, and who I am still becoming. You were the unconventional answer to my friendship needs.
I'm sorry for all the times my presence made it harder to find girls (I'm not sorry my RBF kept the weak ones away). I'm sorry for the times my needs drew you away from a romantic situation, and I'm sorry that you always had to explain to people that we weren't dating, it wasn't like that, and no we've never hooked up. I'm not sorry that your mother loves me more than she'll love any girl you ever bring home (she's a freaking gem can you blame me), and I'm not sorry that my cooking/baking will always be better than your significant others (even though I'll always pretend hers can compete with mine for the sake of saving you an argument). I'm sorry for all the times I said mean things, I was probably hangry, and didn't mean it (thanks for feeding me when I got hangry btw), and I'm sorry if I ever actually hurt your feelings when I told you it looked like you skipped leg day.
I cannot wait to be a groomsman in your wedding, and stand by your side as you marry the love of your life (or be at the party after because you decided to be too cool for a wedding, Russell). I can't wait to spoil your kids, and be the cool aunt who teaches them all the stuff you as their parent cannot. I'll take many of our stories to my grave, but some of the good ones I will simply have to share (be it at your wedding, or at a family barbecue in 30 years). I cannot wait to see what ridiculous things you to make me laugh when we're 80 and our teeth aren't real.
I'm so blessed to have you in my life. I know I don't say it nearly as much as I threaten to throat punch you, or tell you you're fired (No Donald I will not be paying you a royalty for that). But know that I feel it. Every time your name pops up on my phone, or I get to attempt to wrap my small arms around you I am flooded with just how much I love you, and how much joy your presence brings me.
Thank you, and Love Always,
Your Best Girl Friend