Dear dogs of all sizes, breeds, and ages,
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Did I say thank-you?
You should know that all of humankind is forever indebted to you. Without you, we'd be stuck with meowing, mice-eating, hairball spitting, lazy cats. What a miserable world we would live in without you as companions. I do not even want to imagine a world without puppy kisses and furry snuggle buddies.
Here is a handful of reasons why you win first place in the friend business:
1. My favorite TV shows are your favorite TV shows.
TV and movie commentary from friends is probably the most frustrating interruption. When I kick back and flip on the tube, I prefer to zone out and lose myself in the plot. I could care less about special effects or the director's history. Save the trivia for later.
My dog and I are like Ross and Rachel. We have always been meant to be. You understand my thinking. You only care about my happiness. Just like Ross, you never give up on me, regardless of how frustrating of an owner I must be at times. Despite my tendencies to blow you off like Rachel does to Ross, I can count on you to remain faithful in our relationship.
Image credit: Kayla Bonar
2. You never accuse me of being too emotional. You understand. I mean, who could doubt that those eyes are looking straight into my soul right now.
Who needs a boyfriend when you have a cute admirer like this? There is absolutely no need for words of affection with a mind and soul-reading furry friend such as this one. At times, even best friends don't have the understanding or the words I crave to hear. Yet somehow, you instinctively know what I need.
3. Politics are of no concern to you.
It's great to know I can always talk to you, without worrying that unsolicited advice will be thrown back in my face. In times like these, when politics are frequently obliterating relationships, you to remain completely unbiased and never judgmental. Your opinion is one less that I need to hear.Although you're unbiased, I'm still human. And I will be completely biased towards my best friend. If I could, I'd totally nominate you for president.
4. You don't bitch on Instagram. Or any other social media outlet for that matter. Thank god.
While you're the least bitchy of all my friends, you can bet that I'll always treat you like the princess or prince your are. Just promise me you will not let it get to your head. (After all, your innocence is the exact reason why we're friends!
Thank-you for being the best friend I can always count on. No one else is so dedicated. I can depend on you for everything listed above. Thanks furry friend for treating me like a queen even at times when I least deserve your affection. There is clearly a reason why you're called a faithful companion. Once again, you are the absolute best.
With love,
Every dog owner and dog lover out there.
