You didn't plan for you life to go this way, no one does. You can probably think back to the moment when you realized he was gone. Gone can mean so many different things. Gone as in one day you woke up and you said goodbye to him with the expectation that you would see him in a couple hours. When in reality the next time you saw him was at his funeral. Or gone being a slow and painful loss. Everyday saying a new version of goodbye until slowly you ran out of time to say goodbye. Gone can even mean watching him drink your families money away, hearing the fights and one day he never came home. Someone new is there to replace him and you occasionally get a birthday card but he no longer has the title of father. No matter what kind of hurt you have experienced this is not the end.

We each have had fantasies of the role our dad will play in the major events in our life. Showing him our diploma, or having him walk us down the aisle and even being able to show him his first grandchild. In the midst of these hazy fantasies, the reality of having no father shines through. Instead of that white wedding, fatherless girls have stereotypes forced upon them as being easy. If you have ever watched How I Met Your Mother you know exactly what I mean.

Don’t give up. Fighting the stereotypes from society while pushing back your own nightmares is exhausting. Don't stop now. You are beautiful and you have been wonderfully made. Not having a dad does not define you. If anything it makes you stronger. You have learned to drive and change a tire. You have learned how to stand up for yourself knowing there is no dad at home with a shotgun to scare away those jerks. Be proud of your strength.

Don't envy those who have a "perfect" home life. What even is perfect? Everyone has their secrets and struggles. Our imperfect family is bit more obvious to the average person. But don't be fooled by the people around you. You are not alone when you feel like your home is a mess. Instead be thankful for what you do have. The hardest days for me were the ones that I made the choice to be upset about the empty chair at the dinner table. The best were the ones that I decided to be happy that my mom still filled her chair and kept our family together.

Don't forget who you are. You are a daughter of the King. No earthly father can compare to the Father that created you. It is okay to have bad days. When something hurts, let it hurt. But don't lose sight of the joy you can have. Don't let your grief consume your life. Everyone is hurting and each have their own story.

Use your story to love others better.