Dear Ex-Boyfriend,
It's only been two weeks since we broke up. We had dated for two and a half years and were planning our lives together. Everything seemed like it was going so well and we thought that we were made for each other. We were best friends, soulmates and practically family. Nothing could tear us apart.
That was what I thought before I opened my eyes. Love blinds people from the truth. And the reality of the situation was I was being controlled and treated badly. I was forced into acting weak and submissive to keep the peace and avoid conflict. I was annoyed by the belittling and lack of support I would get from you but also scared that this would be my future. I had to encourage myself, even more, when the person I trusted the most would keep telling me that I wasn't good enough or everything that was important to me, wasn't. I had to be my biggest motivator to continue fighting for my dreams.
I put everything that was crushing me aside because I loved and cared about you. I couldn't imagine my life without someone that was such a huge part of it. You were almost my number one priority. I stayed in the relationship. When I drifted into my thoughts, my intuition screamed at me to get out, and to be my own person while I still could, without something like marriage or kids holding me back.
After I was convinced that I was weak, I surprised myself every day at the strength I had both mentally and physically. I am capable of so much and no man is ever going to tell me otherwise ever again. I should have been sure of that a long time ago, but now I am definitely sure. I am not going to accept that kind of treatment again because it is not what I deserve. It is not what so many women deserve who are incredible people that get torn down by underachievers. Never sink down to their level.
I finally discovered the source of my issues when I had hit rock bottom. I was always on edge and stressed about defending myself from every person I talked to. When I spent time away from you and your words of disappointment, it suddenly became easier and less threatening to interact with people. I wasn't afraid of the world before I dated you and that's how I knew I needed a change. I need someone who I can bravely take on the world with.
Breaking up wasn't easy. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to. It hurts me so much that this is the way things turned out for us, but the show must go on. I will only strive for the best in school, work, and athletics, so I will in relationships too. I have no hatred toward you. You were my first love that gave me the experience of loving someone unconditionally. You taught me how to never give up and try hard to fix any problem in a relationship. I wish the very best for you and I hope that you find love again once you have worked through your issues.
Your past love,
Beth Elle
