We grew up quite weirdly, with me disliking you because I was an annoying brat who couldn't understand your reasoning. You always played the role of an adult, even as a six year old. I used to sometimes wonder, did she even live a normal childhood? You were always this perfectly stern, reasonable, and motivated adult in my head.
Right from the start, you took matters in your own hands even when you didn't have to. I looked up to you, even though I disliked those qualities that made me look at you as something I wasn't an adult. You have perfectly valid reasons to dislike or even hate me but you've never once felt that way towards me. Yes, we have said things to each other--painful stuff--but we have never really meant those harsh, cruel words we spit out like poison in the arguments we had.
As we grew older, though, I realized that our relationship as kids wasn't a reflection of the future. I never thought I'd come to the point where I'd even feel comfortable to simply rant or talk to anyone freely. Not because I had a logical 'reason', but just because I've always been that kid who'd rather sketch than speak, hide than meet, or walk away than stay. I can truthfully say that you've always been an image of near-to-perfection in my mind, someone I wanted to resemble in the future, in terms of maturity.
I think the greatest change was in me, actually. I have recently realized and noticed the seemingly trivial changes in me as a person that have made me more understanding, accepting, and "mature" (ugh, whatever that word means...to be honest, what does "mature" even mean?) Because I surrounded myself with understanding, wise, and accepting people, I have learned to open up more intellectually.
I distanced myself from people who talked about others 24/7, because those people only taught me one thing: to avoid them. Not necessarily because they are "bad", but because they haven't matured yet. I unconsciously and unknowingly yearned for maturity deep down inside and have gotten to a place where I'm way, way happier with myself. The people around me have influenced me heavily because they have stuck through good and rough times with me, teaching me how to cope and how to approach people and situations.
These things that I started to learn at the start of junior year of high school, along with the wonderful high school friends that helped me build up my self-esteem, have influenced our relationship. I am able to understand you, your pains, your happiness, your tears, your rants, your passions, and YOUR dreams (something you always hid from us because you never wanted to burden anyone and always wanted others to succeed more than yourself).
You are so thoughtful, generous, and inspirational and I cannot, and will not bear to see anyone put you down. You are my number one supporter in anything I want to accomplish, and you have NEVER, not even once, told me "you can't do it" (unless it's to go to a party that ends at 12 a.m.) You are one of a kind, so uniquely beautiful, caring, and will be the best doctor I'll ever have. You make me so proud every single day and I hope you know that.
You've never had anyone encourage you the way I have been all my life, and so I want to be that person that cheers you on through any situation or goal. Deep down inside, I have always cheered you on and have been positive that you would overcome any obstacle in life. You have faced countless complications in friendships and dilemmas with yourself but I just wanted you to know that this is all a part of life.
You don't have to change a thing about yourself, since we are all human beings who are constantly improving. Please be self-aware and strong even in the tough times, don't bring yourself down when times get tough. Now, I don't only look up to you but I understand you too. I'm glad we can share this growing, loving sisterhood together. Thank you for being here for me and most importantly, thank you for being in my life as my sister.
Priska, your little sister