Hello, I bet it's been a long time since we’ve last talked. The last two years of my life have been years on intense growth. I lost my family, specifically my mother to drug overdose, and the girl who grew to be my sister, shortly after finding me crying in a bathroom stall. I had my heart broken, multiple times by lovers and best friends. I transferred schools, I failed miserably at picking a college major, the list goes on for hours. However this isn’t a letter about how much I failed miserably without you all by my side, its quite the opposite. I want to thank you for the imprint you left on my life, both good and bad.
The best part about hitting rock bottom is there is no where else left to go but up and that is exactly what I did. I picked up all my broken pieces, glued them together and carried on.
To the friends I’ve lost, I hope you’re doing well; there are days where all I crave is a big glass of wine and rap music. I miss the laughs, the stories, the advice and, most of all, always having people to be myself around. Thank you for listening to me complain about the same boy for months, and teaching me I didn’t need him, and that when you guys left, I didn’t need you either. You taught me how strong I was and without knowing that, I wouldn’t have made it that far. I still find myself giggling at inside jokes and memories, and I wish we didn’t hurt each other to the point where it is unfixable. Regardless, I didn’t fit in as well as I thought I did, but I have found friends where I do.
To the lovers I’ve lost, don't think I've forgotten about you. No, no, not like that, you have taught me absolutely everything I do not want in my life. I deserve way more than being your 23rd option. I depended on most of you, to tell me I was "good," "smart," and "pretty" enough, when in reality I already knew those things. Come on boys, my mother didn’t name me what she did because I wasn’t “heavenly." I hope one day you all find a woman who doesn't intimidate you, that way you don't find the need to break her down so you’re finally above her.
To the people who treated me as family and took me in when I had no one, thank you. I was so selfish leaving you with a broken heart. You loved me and cared for me as your own, you taught me what family was and I will forever cherish the beautiful things you taught me. I am saddened I am no longer a part of it, but I’m well aware how strong you are together and would never let something so trivial break that bond. I love watching your posts, thank you for making me a better me. Most of all thank you for believing in me when no one did.
Without all of the lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today. I am thankful for the help; I have finally found myself in the midst of the chaos and I am happy with who I am. I owe it all to you.
