I miss being your shotgun rider anywhere we went. We belted every song from Rascal Flatts, Drake and Twenty One Pilots. There are still songs that remind me of you; there are still songs I can’t listen to because they remind me of you.

I miss calling you every time something important happens. You were always the first person I wanted to tell because I knew that you genuinely cared about what was going on in my life.

I miss having a dance partner on the weekends. Your energy and spontaneity had us dancing like we were the only two people in the room.

I miss hanging out and just talking about life. Your intelligence is beautiful, and I know your future holds nothing but success.

I miss having someone who was down for an adventure at any time. Whether it was an hour drive to a haunted house or a five-minute drive to the grocery store, you were always ready.

I miss taking you home to dinner. My family loved you and still asks about you from time to time. I wish I actually knew how you were, but unfortunately, our days of grabbing lunch and catching up on life are long over.

I know it’s been awhile, but after all this time, I still catch my mind wandering back to the days of you and me. From the moment we parted, I’ve never quite been able to get over the undeniable connection that the two of us shared. I know what happened was my fault, and I know that you haven’t forgiven me. I would do anything to take it all back, and I know that you know that. But I also understand that things have a funny way of working out and everything happens for a reason—that’s something you taught me.

I’m beyond grateful for the time that we did share together. It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. You brought out a side of me that I had been hiding away for far too long, and for that, I am thankful. You taught me how to be myself and you showed me how a real man treats a woman. Not only did you care about me way more than I deserved, you cared about everyone more than they deserved. You looked for the best in people and found it every time.

I wish I could have given you 100 percent of my heart. I wish I hadn’t been in a place where I wasn’t ready to commit myself to you. You gave me everything I could have wanted and more. And at the end of the day, I threw it all away. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I lost you over an act of selfishness that I still haven’t forgiven myself for. I broke your heart, and I’ve never been sorrier for anything in my entire life.

All you ever wanted was for me to be happy. You continuously put my happiness before yours, time and time again. I took advantage of that, and unfortunately, didn’t realize until far too late the happiness that you brought to my life. Now that we are no longer together, all I can hope is that you found your happiness. I know it isn’t me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy. You deserve the world.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and wonder how you are. It’s hard to forget about someone that once occupied almost every aspect of my life. I will forever cherish the countless memories we made together—the late-night drives, the pizza study dates, the endless laughs. There was never a dull moment between us.

I wish you believed in second chances. I wish I deserved a second chance. I can’t go back in time and change what I did, but I can apologize.

I’m sorry I let you get away.