To my dearest one,
You tell me all the time that if you were truly yourself, nobody would love you. You may struggle with many things, maybe an overwhelming depression or an untrustworthy anxiety or an all-consuming anger or an acidic sense of self-doubt. You tell me so often that if I truly saw the darkness inside of you, I would run away and never come back. You keep me and everyone else at arms length during these times of darkness, afraid to let it touch me, afraid to let me see the parts of yourself that you may not love the most. You tell me that I will never understand, that I can't be a part of the bitter parts of you, that if I saw the real you, I would have never wanted you in the first place.
Let me be blunt -- I'm not going anywhere. I have persevered through the blackest darkness of my own, and I've noticed that though there may be bits of me that are jealous and clingy and not half as self-possessed as I'd like to be, there are also bits of me that are strong and good and admirable, and the same goes for you. I'm not going to pull back because I'm afraid of you -- I've had to face my own demons and I have survived. Nothing you do or say can shake my love for you.
Yes, I might not completely understand the exact pain you are going through. I get that your exact struggle is nuanced and complex and so very difficult to bear. But I am here to alleviate anything I can, even if it is just to hold you and shield you as you let yourself break just for a second. I may flinch once in a while if you lash out at me in reaction to the evil that you are battling, but my feet are planted firmly, and I am not moving. I have decided that I love you. That will not change if you hate me. That will not change if you can't be strong anymore. That will not change if you ignite and singe the world around you with rage. I will not budge.
I love you because of the beauty inside of you, and I promise to remind you of that if you forget, but I also love you for your struggles and stumblings, and nothing you say or do will ever make me leave.
I'm not going anywhere. I promise.
