An Open Letter To The One That's Cheating

An Open Letter To The One That's Cheating

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but what you're doing is hurting others.
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To The Person Who’s Cheating,

I just want to start by saying I don’t judge you. It’s your life, and I believe that you should do what you want with it. I have no heaven or hell to put you in for doing what you’re doing. It’s honestly not any of my business, but I have to say something.

When you cheat on a girl, or anyone in that matter, it doesn’t matter if you were drunk, if it was a mistake or if you just felt like doing it. No matter the reason for cheating, it still hurts. Now sometimes, people make mistakes; we’re humans. I get that. We have our occasional slip ups; there’s no excuse, but it’s more reasonable. I’m talking about those who do it deliberately, and repetitively, why?

Now, I’m sure you have a good reason for cheating or whatever it is you’re calling it, but I just don’t understand. There shouldn’t be an excuse to what you are doing. If you are unhappy, then leave the relationship. Now I get it; leaving someone is easier said than done, but imagine if it were you. Imagine if someone you love, and someone who claims to love you in return does the exact same thing to you. Would it hurt? If it doesn’t, then what’s the point of being with that person? If them being with another person doesn’t make you upset in anyway, then you’re wasting their time. Not only are you wasting their time but yours as well.

Do you really want to be with someone that you really don’t want to be with? Life is too short to keep lying to someone you say you care about. I understand it’s hard to tell them the truth, but keeping that secret from them and repeatedly cheating isn’t doing them any better. It doesn’t just hurt them, but it hurts you too. It’s draining your energy convincing people and trying to be someone that you care about them, trying to save face. That’s taking more of your effort than anyone else’s.

I don’t want to tell you how to live your life or how to handle your relationship. I just want you to know that you are only hurting yourself. What you think is fun and safe now is only going to hurt you in the end. Beyoncé said, “What goes around comes back around." Karma always does its job, and the more you keep hurting those around you, deliberately or not, it will come back to you. If you really love the person you’re cheating on, you’ll both stop and tell them the truth, or you’ll let them go and be happy. It’s your choice.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Has Been Cheated On

Cover Image Credit: picturequotes.com

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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Being Self-Conscious Is More Toxic Than You May Believe

Everyone feels this way at some point or another, but it doesn't make it any less unhealthy.

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I get in my own way more often than anyone else ever will. I can never explain exactly why, but all of my hesitating, doubting, and revoking participation can be boiled down to having made completely unsupported misinterpretations about social situations.

I always tend to paint myself in a negative light right off the bat: the things I do and don't say are always taken the wrong way. The way I answer questions in class. I mean, even the things I tweet aren't immune to my own overanalysis. Dumb, right?

But the complete truth of the matter is that those who aren't already going through this straining process in their own brains would certainly never spend the time doing it to you. In the best way possible, they don't care… about the silly things, of course.

Though this certainly and unfortunately doesn't hold true for every single person you'll engage, the majority of people aren't actively looking for what you (and only you) perceive as "bad." Maybe I'm just an optimist in saying that I believe people are good at heart and naturally want to see that in others before anything else. To be perfectly candid—and frank—it's just exhausting trying to do anything else.

And you know, maybe I really am the only one who is this inhibited. My intuition tells me that there's absolutely no way this can be true, but isn't that the exact thing I choose to ignore every time I question myself? This self-isolating feeling only becomes stronger when we fail to see the humanness of other people who we hold highly in our lives.

It's hard to imagine that they could also ever feel insecure about anything so seemingly trivial, but it's likely they're thinking the same thing about you. I can't say that this more astute social awareness is going to sweep unjustified self-consciousness and insecurity from the individual's mind so effortlessly, but it makes for a more understanding, empathetic, collective consciousness that tends to be more forgiving to oneself.

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