Well, Sweetie we have been separated for quite some time now. We don't speak much, and when we do it's short and sweet, leaving the truthfully painful details out. I hope you are truly doing well. I pray you find what you’re looking for, even if it wasn’t me. I will admit there are days I wish it was me, I wish I would have been enough for you. I wish we would have worked the differences, mistakes, and distance. I could sit here and say all the “would have, could have, and should have “situations we encountered. You have no idea how often you come across my mind, a lot more than I would like to admit.
I heard you have moved on and I just hope she is worth your time, because clearly I was not. I hear she is a beautiful redhead. I hear she’s perfect in your eyes. I hear more from your friends than you anymore. I could hear everything and anything under the sun, but it will never mean anything to me unless I hear it from you. I hope she looks at you the way I did, like you are the sun and the moon and everything in between. I hope she talks about you like you put the stars in the sky, but she will never know how you put them in my eyes. I hope she’s the happily ever after I could not give you.
They say relationships don’t work sometimes because of bad timing, but I don’t believe in bad timing. I believe you want it or you don’t, and you clearly just didn’t want me. Which I guess I will learn to live with, but I will always wonder why. Why did you paint a pretty picture in my head of our happily ever after? Why did you let the distance destroy us? I will probably be left with these questions till the day I die.
You told me you were not ready for the commitment of loving me, and all I did was nod, thinking that eventually everything will be okay and you will come around and learn to love me. You told you were just not ready to settle down as you peeled off my clothes and laid your hands on me not to pleasure me but yourself, and I hoped this would make you want me, but it didn’t. And I stayed around lingering in and out of your life inconsistently hoping one day you would decide you wanted to settle down, and you would call at random times when you wanted to feel good about yourself. I would drop everything running to your aid. And when you built yourself up and you were ready to settle down I didn’t even cross your mind. I should have known that if you were not ready to love me then, you never would be.
But in the end, the sky is still blue without you and I am no longer surprised by that. The birds still sing, and life goes on. Life will always go on. Maybe one day I will find my happily ever after, I just hope he is nothing like you.
