Dear Younger Me,
Quite some time has passed since you were at a carefree age filled with outdoorsy adventures. And while being a young adult is something we’ve always dreamed about, I have to admit I’m starting to miss being a kid.
I miss the early days, back when coming home from school meant Mom making a chicken nugget lunch, with a "Lilo and Stitch" episode playing in the background. I miss when after school trips to the park meant playing an hour-long game of tag with all our friends. Leaving the playground smiling ear to ear exhausted beyond belief. It sure was nice when we could spend all day outside, back when hour-long lock-ins at the library were still a myth.
You see, I do love being grown. Although we no longer have playdates, we’ve had a number of great experiences that wouldn’t have happened if we were still young. We've traveled the world with classmates and friends, had jobs where we gained endless life experiences and made decisions to benefit our life. Sure, sometimes it sucks having to make all the decisions around here, but at least, we can say we control the outcome of our lives. So why, do you ask, am I missing being your age? Because to be honest, despite all the good, being grown can sometimes be quite scary.
It was scary when we made the decision to go away to college, leaving the comforts of our home, to live four hours away. It was scary when we declared a major and went against the grain to follow our passion. It was scary when we spent our first month away from our parents, finding out how serious homesickness can be. All these things that we’ve gone through, they've matured us and forced us to become independent, but taking them on was a scary challenge. And it’s only the beginning.
From here on out, we will be deciding on things that will drastically alter our life. What do you want to be when you grow up? has turned into, what job should I start looking into? Should I go to graduate school? Will I have money to pay my rent next year? It’s all starting to become so real; I’m starting to catch myself dreading decisions we were once excited to make.
We’re no longer protected under our mother’s wing, nor is our father coming to our every rescue. We’ve learned how to fly, and we’ve been thrown off the ledge. Although we can always come to our parents, we don’t want to disappoint, so we try to appear as perfect as we can. It’s tough being a grown-up. Even when you want to pout and cry, you must stand tall and get things done. This can be especially hard after learning how unfair the world can sometimes be.
As kids, we didn’t know of much evil. We believed the world was as fair as our parents made it be. We followed their rules and then reaped in all the benefits. We didn’t know the world was this big, and the big world can sometimes be scary.
I miss the happy, carefree kid you used to be. Building a Barbie empire while killing it at your elementary school spelling bee. Being a kid was so much fun, the kind of fun you don’t notice until it’s gone.
But as much as I loved being your age, and as scary as being my age is, the life we live now is so rewarding. We've made so many unforgettable memories, and we've matured enough to be our true selves. We've gained confidence, and trust that we're going to make ourselves (and our families) proud. I want to thank you for all the memories you’ve made for me, I cherish them every day, and sometimes they make me nostalgic. I’ll always miss being a happy-go-lucky kid, but I’m busy building a life for us now, and so far I like where it’s going.
Signed,
The Older (and sometimes wiser) You
