Let's say that one day you are just sitting around playing on your phone. Doing your daily scroll through your preferred social media account. When your friend texts you and says "I need to tell you something."
First, let me help you out, never respond to a female saying are you pregnant. I've done this and put my foot in my mouth. So you say whats up? and they go "last night I was sexually assaulted."
OK, now freeze...
If the next text out of your phone is not "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OK?" then you've already fucked up.
I'm writing this article so that I can shed some understanding or some light on the situation that has now been presented to you.
Do not ask what happened. Why in the hell are you asking a sexual assault victim to relive one of the most traumatic events of their life? What is wrong with you? You are not an investigator, you are not a judge, and you are NOT a jury. You by no means have the right to ask for the story.
You don't get to know unless they want you to know. There's a fine line between showing you care and badgering someone. So, instead of asking for details your best bet is to just BE THERE FOR THEM and let them know that if they want to talk you are there to listen. But by no means interrogate them for the full story.
If you for some reason don't believe them because you a nosey gossip queen who requires all the facts? Then YOU KEEP YOUR OPINION TO YOURSELF! It is hard enough for victims to come forward as it is without worrying about their friends and family not believing them.
If you take anything away from this article as a best friend, a friend, a family member, a loved one, or even an acquaintance hear me out on this. That person who just told you something that you hopefully cannot fathom knowing what they are going through. They confided in you because they trust you.
So if the next words out of your mouth are not "OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU OK?!?" Then you shut up and you tell them you are unreliable and unworthy human being and you direct them to someone who is better equipped to help them.
