With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, love is a popular topic of discussion and introspection. For some, this day will be shared with a significant other or spent basking in the joys of single life, but for others it may mean feeling lonely or insignificant. My wish is to meet you today, wherever you may be, to provide insight into what love is and bring you hope through my personal story of searching, loss and discovery.
I have always been a hopeless romantic. I love sappy love stories in novels and movies. Videos of engagements and returns of loved ones from deployment consistently bring tears to my eyes. From a young age, I have imagined who my Prince Charming would be and what qualities he would hold within him. Though I knew that unconditional love and fulfillment was found in my relationship with God, I remember praying that He would bring this man into my life: Praying He would finally show me the love of my life who I had been waiting for for what felt like forever.
As I moved through life, growing and learning, many boys came into my life. Some stayed in my heart for a brief while, others for years. I idealized them within my mind. In my head they were perfect: Smart, cute, talented, without flaw. I have always had a future focus when it comes to relationships, so I would often find myself imagining a future with some. When I thought of dating a guy, he wouldn’t be one in a list of many, but the only. Pictures of being asked on a date, my first kiss and similar bright, polished thoughts filled my imagination.
I was intrigued and captured, but these feelings were hardly reciprocated. While I spent hours, months, and even years focused on them, they thought nothing more of me. While I put them on a pedestal of perfection and romance, they placed me in a box of simple acquaintance or friendship. While I was falling in love, they were moving on.
Were these feelings that of love? In that time, I believed they could be. The truth is, love would not have left me in a place of sadness and emptiness. Love would not have meant that only I made an effort. Love would not have led to me being ignored or becoming only a fleeting thought. What at that time I thought was love was mere infatuation. While all these boys filled my mind for years, not one of them stayed. They weren’t bad guys at all, but they weren’t meant for me, and what was between us was not love. However, one day, all this changed. That is, you came along.
From the beginning you were different: We were friends, and you were there for me. I didn’t have to search for you because you came to me. I didn’t have to be nervous around you because you were the one I could talk to about anything. When I felt inadequate, you told me I was worthy. As my friend, you showed me love and acceptance. The story that was being written between us was interwoven with the stories of others at the time. I fell in love with you before I knew it. You were different: You loved me where I was for who I was, and soon our friendship developed into more.
Today I have been with you for close to two years, and I know that you are the man God sent to me to be my forever love. You have always been set apart from the other guys in my life, though this took me a while to realize. When I searched for others, you were the one there so purely and plainly. God had saved me for you: He saved me for a relationship in which His unconditional love would be reflected continually. By protecting me from relationships with boys who would break my heart, He led me to you, the one who will hold my heart forever.
Today I want every one of you who are reading this to know that love exists. You are loved, and I hope that one day you will find the one your heart loves. Loving another is not always an easy road, but every step is worth the determination. Love is not perfect, but love allows us to see imperfections as works of beauty. Love takes commitment, communication and continuous adaption and growth. When you look upon Valentine’s Day this year, look at it through hopeful eyes. You are not alone in this world, you are worth it and you deserve to be loved truly and completely. I hope love will find you and fill you where you are today. The hurt of the past will blossom into a beautiful future. Though it takes patience and work, love is worth it.
