This is a letter to the American society about sex. Its purpose is not to describe how to have better sex. Nowhere does it provide information about the health benefits of having more sex. In fact, the statement I’m about to make contradicts the central message of virtually every popular magazine, TV show and song in existence today: The world does not revolve around sex.
Sex. Does the public utterance of this word make you blush anymore? Do you give a second thought to the sexual innuendos you watch on your favorite TV shows? Does the crude humor present in almost all conversations (that used to make you cringe) even cause you to bat an eye now?
Society’s obsessive glorification of sex has led to a serious problem. This obsession is unarguably detrimental to relationships that already are or have the possibility of becoming romantic. Our sex-saturated society is sending the message to this generation that “good sex” is all a relationship can provide. The unfortunate decrease in the amount of sensitivity shown to the topic of sex has led to a decrease in the possible amount of intimacy that the act is capable of providing.
Aren’t relationships about more than the physical act of making love? Shouldn’t the interactions that couples engage in with each other focus more on an emotional connection that is attainable only through meaningful conversation? Shouldn’t the ultimate foundation of a relationship be the mutual understanding of each other’s deepest hopes, biggest dreams, and greatest fears?
I’m tired of sex. I’m tired of watching movie trailers that have themes centered on the idea of sex. I’m tired of seeing Cosmopolitan Snapchat stories featuring articles with headlines like, “Things You Never Knew (But Need To) About Sex.” I’m tired of the “that’s-what-she-said” type jokes that are viewed as commonplace and acceptable in all environments. I’m tired of a culture that has reduced the value of something that was formerly viewed as significant, special, and even sacred to merely a mundane experience primarily used by an individual to determine the level of satisfaction that he or she derives from a relationship.
This generation needs to understand that not everything is about sex. The ultimate reason for being in a relationship is not sex. The culmination and end goal of a relationship is not sex. The meaning of love itself is not sex. The sooner our society is able to reevaluate and change the current position that sex holds as the ultimate center of the universe, the sooner society will be able to rediscover the authentic joys of intimacy in relationships; joys that come not from sex, but from moments; moments filled with laughter and moments flooded with tears; moments where fights turn into forgiveness; moments that provide clarity when all else appears muddled. In the end, those will be the moments that made a relationship worth it—not sex.
