Hi there, lovely,

I picked you up from work last night, ready to listen to you tell crazy stories about your coworkers, but when you got into my car you didn't rattle off stories like you usually do. You were in tears.

After initially not wanting to discuss it, you eventually confessed that one of your best friends had gotten upset about something trivial and written you off for it--rubbing her other friends in your face, calling you names, and intentionally trying to tear you down. This wasn't the first time that this had happened, or the first friend it had happened with.

But I saw these texts. There were ugly, hurtful words said.

And I'll admit, I was livid when I read them. My blood boiled just thinking about someone treating you like that. It was enough to make me want to fire off my own texts, to find some way to turn the three years of life experience I have on you and your friends into something intimidating, so that no one would ever dare speak to you that way again.

But I didn't. And now, I've calmed down. I'm ready to respond with grace (or at least the closest thing I have to grace). And I want to share some thoughts with you about the friends that you are worth, but also about what your response should be to friends who treat you worse than you deserve.

You, dear one (and every young girl like you), are worth much more than toxic friends.

You are too valuable to have friends that come and go based solely on what you're giving to them at the moment.

You are much too strong to have your night ruined by friends who are too weak to discuss problems in person.

You are too good of a friend to be attacked by someone who thinks friendship is some sort of a competition.

You are much too giving to lavish gifts on people who constantly take without a single thought towards the hurt imposed on the giver.

You are too precious to not be treated as such by those whom you choose to surround yourself with.

You are worth more than toxic friends.

But the thing about those toxic friends is that you are worth no more than they are.

Maybe that seems paradoxical. I'll rephrase. You are worth more than their toxic friendship, but you, as a person, are not worth more than they are, as people.

They, too, are valuable, precious and worthwhile.

They are worth second chances.

They are worth forgiveness.

They are worth suffering for.

Your worth warrants you being treated as precious, just as their worth warrants them being treated as precious.

You see, our worth as humans isn't dependent upon our behavior, or anything else variable about us. Our worth stems from being created in the image of a God who loves us and who gave Himself for us. The beautiful thing about this means that our worth never changes, regardless of our friends, test scores, or any other way society tries to measure us. But the hard (and, I'll admit, often annoying) thing is that this means that the worth of those who hurt us is equal to ours, and in situations like this we must respond accordingly (besides, don't we all act a little toxic sometimes)?

We must respond to those who hurt us in a way that acknowledges both our worth and theirs, simultaneously.

So, precious sister, by all means, delete these toxic friends on Facebook. Change your social media passwords so they can't log onto your accounts anymore. Take the summer off of these friendships to allow time for healing and growth.

But forgive them. Lavish them with abundant grace. Communicate to them that you harbor no resentment towards them, but instead only love. Don't allow this incident to speak lies about their worth to them, to you, or to anyone else.

Pray for them. Go to Jesus and plead to Him to heal the hurt they've caused and the hurt that they probably feel.

Don't ever forget your own worth or the worth of every other person who exists, and the treatment that worth warrants.

You've got this, little sister. I'm sorry this situation sucks, but if anyone can set an example for grace-filled relationships, it's you. Go get 'em (with love and all that other good stuff).

Love you much, little one,

Your big sister (who will always want to be your friend)